More Than Words Can Say
by Ryrahd
Summary: KaixRei, shounenai. An arch dealing with developing relationship between the two bishounen. Completely based on KaixReiML fic challenges.
1. Piece of Memory

A/N: This is my first BB fic and my fist venture into the world of shounen-ai, so I hope it wasn't too dull. This is for the KaixReiML fic rush challenge. 

Disclaimers: I own absolutely nothing. 

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More Than Words Can Say

Rei fingered the withered photograph in his pant pocket, brushing his fingers over the once smooth texture of it. The little piece of memory had been with him for a long time, forever it seemed. He did not remember how he had it, nor why, only that it was always with him. He remembered when he would stay up during the cold, winter nights, simply looking at the picture, memorizing every line and curve. The picture had travelled with him wherever he went. It had been with him when he left China and his home with the White Tigers, his family. It was there, safely nestled in his breast pocket when he stepped into the world of professional Beyblading. It was still there with him during every match he'd entered and under his pillow at another random hotel. 

Rei sighed, a puff air, barely audible above the din in the Bey Stadium. The match had been halfway through, with Takao playing against some guy. Rei hadn't bothered learning his name, after all, they would likely never meet again, why waste the memory space? Takao, as per usual, was bouncing on the soles on his feet, jabbing his fists into the air and sending an occasional taunt toward his opponent. 

"You can do it, Takao!" Max, the vivacious blonde, cheered, jumping to his feet. 

Rei glanced around at his teammates, being careful to conceal his gaze behind his raven mane. Kenny was sitting on the bench beside him, trying to both type on his laptop and look fully engrossed with the battle at the same time. Max was now stifling giggles at Takao's almost comical face. And Kai... Kai had disappeared. 

Rei frowned, a look not well suited on the handsome youth. Creasing his brows in concentration, he let his topaz gaze scan over the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of blue hair and cherubic face. There were none. Kai was a very private person, a cold, hardened enigma. He wanted nothing to do with the rest of the Breakers, wanted nothing to do with human contact. Rei had understood that ever since they first met. Still, that didn't stop him from wanting to know more about his taciturn leader. Besides, it was very much unlike Kai to willingly miss a battle that he had an opportunity to critique later. 

__

'There must be something important go on then,' opined Rei, and used that as an excuse to leave the stadium. He told Kenny he was leaving, to which the bespectacled boy nodded absent-mindedly. 

Outside the arena, in the maze-like corridors, Rei used his feline senses to search for Kai. At first, he detected nothing, but then his sharp nose picked up a faint scent. It was musky and reminded him of ocean waves during a storm, luring, calling him. It was very definitely male, and definitely belonged to Kai, Rei knew. From the many times Rei had shared rooms with the bluenette, he had come to acknowledge that smell as only Kai's. This little detail seemed so small, so intimate, that Rei flushed with embarrassment. 

Using his nose, Rei followed the alluring aroma, getting stronger as he progressed. It had led him to the rooftop door. The Chinese youth wondered what Kai could possibly want. Shrugging the question away, Rei pushed the door open and stepped outside. It was late evening; the majestic moon high in her court, with millions of crystalline stars peppering about, attending upon their queen. The wind was neither cold nor warm, and whipped around him, sending his messy fringe flying and his neat pony-tailed hair swaying with the breeze. Silhouetted against the sky and standing at the small fence-like periphery, was Kai. 

Rei gazed at him for a long moment, neither moving nor saying anything. Kai looked so noble in his stance; Rei thought him almost godlike. His back was straight, hands clenched in fists at his side. Rei could imagine the other boy's narrowed eyes, the dual triangles on his cheeks (he'd always thought that made Kai seem untouchable) and the almost-sneer stretched on his lips. He was like a king, poised, looking out toward his people. 

"Why have you come here, Rei?" 

Kai's voice broke his thought patterns. The voice was cold, detached, and sent a slight shiver to crawl up Rei's neck. The Chinese boy warily ambled over to stand by his captain's side. 

"You had disappeared, I had wondered where you'd gone," the golden-eyed teen said, barely looking up at the other's scrutiny. "Mind if I join you?" 

Kai looked at him from atop his nose, neither accepting nor reproving. After a while, he, in a very Kai-like manner, said, "Whatever."

Rei let the uncomfortable silence settle between them. Something was on Kai's mind, he could tell, was always able to discern. The lights of the streets below reflected on his pale face, making his garnet eyes dance with it. Rei wanted to touch that face, wanted to run his hands through that hair – he'd always wondered if it was as soft as it looked – to make sure that the boy beside him was real, not a very beautiful mirage. Kai was so frigid, so far away; Rei wanted to open him, to unravel his layers. 

"From up here," the dark-haired youth began after a long while, still gazing at the moving metropolis below him, "the world seems very tiny, the people minuscule dots moving to and fro. It makes me feel big, larger than life, larger than anything."

"Hn," was Kai's grunt-like response. 

"If I think about it," continued the Tiger, "then I begin to realize that that's how you must feel."

"What do you mean?" Kai's scarlet gaze settled on his. Rei squirmed, feeling his cheeks heat up at the other's intense regard. It made him feel as if Kai could read through his soul, could seep into every part of his being and digest all his darkest secrets. 

"Well, it's like you're a mountain. You glance at everyone else as if you're above them," Rei said in a small voice, unable to pull away from the other youth. "You distance yourself, pretending that there is no one else in the world. You're cold and solitary, and you won't notice that someone might actually want to break through."

"That's because I don't want anyone to break through."

"But... why?"

With a sigh, Kai looked up at the stars, as if asking them for guidance. "I don't want to let people in because then they'll be able to know me, to touch me, to hurt me. I don't want that; it makes me feel vulnerable, too fragile. That's not how I work."

"But... you've let me in. Didn't you?" Asked Rei, feeling more confident because of Kai's response. "I'm here, aren't I? I'm talking to you, and you're not pushing me away, which means you've let me in. Why?" 

Before Rei could blink, Kai had his pinned with his eyes. Rei was paralysed, both with fright and the intensity of those eyes. They were burning, scorching onto his memory, searching his own golden orbs. Rei wanted to pull away, to run, yet at the same time, he could do nothing. His breath came out in quick rasps, and he touched the area just above his heart, though the action was completely lost to both him and Kai. 

With another intake of breath, Kai pulled away, leaving Rei's question hanging on air. 

"It's my birthday today," the umber-eyed youth said after a long pause, looking at the stars again. 

Rei's eyes widened, "Kai," he breathed out. He had no idea that it was the other's birthday, and he had a suspicion that no else did either. It hurt him to know that his friend – yes, he considered Kai his friend, despite the other's attempts at pushing him away – would not tell him something so important. Didn't Kai trust him?

"Why did you tell anyone?" Rei asked, being careful to mask away the hurtful note. 

"I didn't think it was important," Kai replied with a nonchalant shrug. 

"Of course it's important! Your birthday marks another year of your life, meaning one more year spent with us," the Chinese boy exclaimed, not minding how loud he sounded in the stillness of the night. A little more softly, he said, "I don't even have anything to give you."

Another shrug. A cold reply. "That's fine. I don't want anything." 

"But I want to give you something, to remember that this day happened, that you were a part of us," Rei said. 

He thought for a moment, scanning his mental inventory of his person. He had nothing besides the clothes on his back, his trusty Drigger and that worn photograph tucked away in his pocket. He took out the small memento, studied its surface, like he'd done so many times in the past. He touched the smooth surface, as if for the last time.

"Actually, I do have something to give you," Rei said, handing the photo to Kai. 

The Phoenix was at first unwilling to take the makeshift gift, but curiosity had gotten the best of him. He took the small offering and glanced at it. In black and white ink, a trio stood, smiling up at him. A father, mother and child. The adults had big, bright smiled painted on; the man was embracing his wife. Nestled in the crook of the woman's arms was a baby boy. He was asleep, a tuft of raven hair on his head, a peaceful smile on his chubby face, small fingers grasping the woman's long hair. 

Looking closer, Kai realized that the family in the picture was Rei's, the little boy being the Chinese lad himself. Though Rei had never mentioned anything, it was no mystery to the bluenette that he was an orphan. This photo must have been his only reminder of the parents he once had. And now, Rei was giving this precious photograph to him? Why? 

"Happy birthday, Kai," Rei said with a goofy grin. 

Kai looked at him, maybe for the first time. The photo was a declaration of friendship, of a bond between them. It was Rei's attempt to show Kai that he cared, that he would be there for him. Otherwise, he would have made a big deal out of giving the photo away. In other instances, that would mean that he would never get it back. Rei didn't think so, however, and thus showed his trust in Kai. 

Perhaps for the first time in his life, Kai smiled. It wasn't a cruel smile, not like the one he would give to a competitor. Neither was it a benevolent smile. He smiled just because he was happy, for the first time in his life, to be alive, to have someone who cared. 

Finis~

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Perhaps I'll make this into an arch... *shrug* That all depends on you peoples. 


	2. System Crash

A/N: I've decided to make this an arch, since so many of you have asked for it. This is also for the KaixReiML fic rush challenge. I know how it feels to have your computer corrupt everything. In fact, as I'm writing this, I have to completely reinstall everything on my computer. Everything I had is completely destroyed! (That's over 11gb worth of files. Gawd, I can't seem to stop crying). 

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System Crash 

__

Clicity-clack-clack. Clicity-clack-clack. 

Rei's long, eloquent and nimble fingers dashed over the keyboard, pressing keys in a seemingly random fashion. The noise seemed odd in the small motel room, resounding off the walls. If you looked at the boy positioned in front of the screen, if you noticed the faint crease in-between his eyebrows, you would have thought he was in a life-threatening situation, choosing one way over the other. The ancient, relic machine was a hunk of junk. Dust and bits of food were permanently caked between some of the keys; those had to have special pressure applied to them. Rei squinted at the small print on the rounded monitor, cursing the layers of grime and fingerprint residue left on the screen. The sound card was damaged – he didn't remember when that happened– and emitted an annoying whirr whenever a new page loaded. It was a wonder to the Chinese youth how the computer was still alive, despite its feeble attempts. 

He opened up a new page and sat back in his seat with a sigh; the internet was slower than a snail, it would be a long while before anything actually happened. Rei wished that trusty old Kenny was by his side, Dizzi tucked snugly under his arm. Kenny would know what to do, how to help him. But alas, the bespectacled boy was nowhere to be found, as was the rest of his team. He suspected that Takao and Max had gone to the park for a nice picnic (he heard the blonde mention something of that sort over breakfast). Kenny was at a computer convention in the neighbouring town. And his captain had disappeared, again, without a trace. 

Rei knitted his eyebrows some more and brushed at the shock of raven hair getting into his eyes. It was a blistering hot day, and not even in the confines of a motel room could the neko-jin escape the heat. Small beads of sweat trickled down the side of his face, matting his hair to his forehead. His throat was dry and he felt sticky all over, and, being a very hygienic person, he did not like the sensation in the least. 

He blinked his brilliant golden orbs when the page loaded. With another sigh, he scanned the contents of the page, his eyes dashing along the lines. Cursing softly under his breath, he closed the page, finding it useless. Rei racked a hand through his hair and forced his eyes to remain on the screen. He would have to endure the torturous process. Suddenly, with a bleep and a mechanical hum, an error message popped up. It declared in bold, black letters that there occurred a problem with an xxx program, ok? The Chinese youth nearly screamed when the monitor went blank after another whir, deleting all the files he had had up till then. He cursed profoundly under his breath, desperately trying to calm his nerves. 

His ears flat against his head (if that could describe the action), Rei growled deep in his throat and pressed the 'on' button. He pushed out of the seat, irritated, and crossed the small expanse of the room to stand in front of the window. It would be a while for the computer to run through the regular system maintenance check. Sighing, the poor, sweat drenched neko-jin leaned against the window frame, closing his eyes. 

All of a sudden, with his keen ears he picked up a faint, indistinguishable almost, buzzing sound. It was no more than a tickle at the back of the mind; it might not even have been real. Curious as a cat, Rei tugged tentatively at the sienna-coloured drapes, peeking in through a small gap. His topaz eyes widened slightly when he saw his aloof captain. Kai was propped up against a tree, eyes closed and muscular arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing the standard issue "leave me alone or I'll pound you to a bloody pulp" clothing. Rei wondered how Kai could withstand the heat with so much clothing on. He himself had abandoned his traditional Chinese outfit for a sleeveless undershirt and simple cargo pants. The bluenette must have been sweating bucket loads under all those layers of clothing. 

"What's he doing?" Rei murmured to himself, tracing Kai's figure through the glass with his finger. 

Kai was in an almost meditative state, relaxation seeming to seep from him. Perhaps he was even asleep, lost in the world of the dreamers, where cold-hearted leaders like himself had all the bey battles to fill their frigid hearts' content. Or maybe he just closed his eyes for a moment, letting the garnets rest for a while. 

Rei knew better, however. Kai was practising, as per usual. It may not have seemed that way to the average person, but the Chinese lad had spent a long time with his taciturn leader, and given their proximity, he had grown to read Kai's moods to a certain extent. If he looked closer, the teen could detect a small, round object at the other youth's feet, emitting sparks once in a while. It was no little wonder to Rei that Kai should spend such a lovely – though annoyingly hot – day practising. After all, his only goal, indeed, his only wish was to achieve victory. 

Kai had his own demons to chase, his own dragons to slay. Kai was strong; he would persevere, with or without help. Still, Rei wished that Kai would open up, to him at least. Oh, how he wanted to be the one to break Kai, to bring him out of his shell! His hands practically twitched every time the other boy was near; this _need _to hold Kai so overwhelming yet so wrong, so raw. 

__

Beep. 

Startled, Rei ceased his hold on the drape, only then realizing how hard he was gripping it, and turned to the blasted computer. Sparing a glance at the still entranced boy, Rei made his way back to the computer. With a sigh, he clicked on the internet icon and prepared to wait. 

~*~

When the stars had began peppering the sky and the horizon was no more than a strip of red, Kai ambled into the darkened room, revelling in the cool air that touched his body. He had spent most of the day outside in the scorching heat and blazing sun, and he was beginning to think that it was taking its toll on him. He glanced about the room, blinking several times when his eyes fell on a glowing form. Rei sat in front of the computer, his face illuminated by the pale glow of the monitor. The simple white shirt contrasted oddly against the raven rope of hair, and his pale skin seemed to radiate a quiet luminescence of its own. Kai had to blink several more times before he was able to pull his eyes away. 

He gritted his teeth and strode over to one of the beds, the one closer to the window, and plopped down. Still looking at Rei, as if the other boy would disappear if he closed his eyes, Kai peeled away his sweat-laden shirt. 

"What have you been up to?" The bluenette asked, digging in his duffel bag for a clean shirt. 

"Huh?" Rei, caught slightly unawares, turned to look at Kai. The youth flushed when he caught a glimpse of alabaster skin, the other boy's stomach muscles clenching and unclenching as he pulled on a black t-shirt. "Oh... I- I've been looking for some information on my opponent for tomorrow's match." 

"I thought that was Kenny's job," Kai stated, getting off the bed in one fluid motion and coming closer to Rei. 

"Aa..." he began, feeling slightly embarrassed, though he didn't know why. "It is, but he's not here, and I don't want to bother him just because I am a little nervous. He deserves his vacation leaves, too."

Kai was standing behind him now, peering over his shoulder at the screen. Rei sucked in a breath, pretending not to notice how he could feel the other boy's heat, how he could see the faint hairs on Kai's forearms, how his own hand trembled slightly posed as it was over the keyboard. If it weren't for the darkness of the room, his red ears would have been too obvious. 

Rei wondered how someone like Kai could be so handsome, if not beautiful. Strands of wild, slate-coloured hair fell haphazardly into his eyes, curling slightly at the nape (the few times Rei had seen Kai with his hair wet, he noticed that it tended to curl on the longer ends). Soft, rounded, baby-like cheeks were accentuated with cerulean stripes, the same ones he had wanted to remove. Fangirls had chased his reticent leader on many occasions, wanting desperately to pinch those cheeks. He had a very masculine jaw with just a hint of cruelness to it, cold and unbreakable like the person. An elfin nose graced his features. Kai had surprisingly soft-looking, pouty lips, dusty rose in colour. There was a faint trace of a dimple in the corner of that (dare he say it?) gorgeous mouth, and suddenly he wanted to see what it would be like if Kai _had_ smiled. Long, luxurious black lashes swept against his pale cheekbones, shielding the ruby gaze in an almost tantalizing way. 

The Chinese boy cursed himself mentally, berating his own stupidity, and tuned to face the monitor. Thoughts like that were ludicrous, dangerous even. 

"And you've been on for the entire day?" Kai asked, tilting his head just ever so slightly. "What's the problem?" 

"Err... I can't do anything because the computer turns off every few minutes."

"That's all?" The bluenette asked, eyebrow raised inquisitively. 

Puffing out his cheeks, Rei glared at the monitor. "Apparently. I haven't been able to find out anything. Where did I get this piece of junk anyway? Now how am I going to face my opponent?" Rei could feel the jittery butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He'd heard his adversary was strong. Though he hated to admit it, he was afraid, more of losing than the actual person. He did not know what he would do if he lost. 

"How about you just..." Kai began. Within an instant, he pressed the "shut down" button, at which the screen went blank. "... do this?"

Rei opened his mouth to protest; he'd been hoping that site was the one! That meant a whole day wasted at the click of a button! Instead, he closed his mouth and looked at Kai, the question clear in his eyes. The other boy shrugged and turned to the door, saying: "The night is still young. There is still time to practice. In order to overcome any enemy, you first need to be able to face your fear of him. There is no better way to do this than get stronger."

For a moment, the Chinese lad stayed silent, just staring at the spot Kai occupied before moving outside. He said that the only way to gain victory was to gain strength, to get which you needed practice. Though he might not have said it, after all, Kai was Kai and Kai's didn't like to admit things they're not comfortable with (the strange creatures that they were), but the captain had meant that he would help Rei, in his own special way. Rei knew what it meant for the other boy, to actually _help _somebody, and he was glad that it was _he_ who had that opportunity – nay, privilege. 

"Are you coming or not?" He heard Kai's voice float over from the hall, beckoning him. 

Rei grinned to himself, only the darkness of the room a witness to the secret smile. He patted the computer top, almost affectionately, not minding in the least that grime might have been left on his hand, and stuck Drigger into a pocket. Kai had offered him his help, which meant, on some deep, philosophical level, that he was asking help from Rei in return. A shadow of the grin still evident on his lips, he strode into the darkness of the night. 

(tbc...?)

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	3. I'll Be Here

A/N: this challenge was based on a picture. A little bit of explanation: I didn't want to make any of the actual character suffer (that's for later) so I made one up. The things Rei says about this person are completely made up; it's more like a 'what if' situation.

Many, many thankies to all who reviewed ^____^ I luv you peoples!

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I'll Be Here 

Rei looked with dull, dead golden eyes into the open casket. There was a serene expression on his face; his eyes weren't puffy or red-tinged from crying, there weren't any traces of tears nor were his fists clenched at his side. If you had never met Rei, never got the chance to really get to know him, you'd think he was a cold, uncaring jerk. His friends knew better, however. They saw how much he was suffering, how much pain he was feeling, it pained_ them_ to see him so broken. 

The Chinese youth felt empty, hollow on the inside. It was as if somebody had struck a hand into his gut and ripped everything out, leaving him nothing but an empty shell. There was also pain in the beginning, when he'd heard. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, the sound of his own heart beating in his chest had seemed ominous even to him. Rei wanted to escape, to hide and never come out. He blamed himself, blamed the world, blamed every God he knew of. But he wouldn't cry; he promised himself he wouldn't. Now, the ache had settled to a dull throb, the tightness in his throat. 

A warm hand on his shoulder, a soft, "I understand, Rei." The boy half-tuned to his blonde friend. He tried to manage a reassuring smile but failed by a long shot. Max understood what he was going through. He told Rei once that that's how he felt when his mother left him. 

"Thanks, Maxie," he replied after a while.

Takao sidled over to him, his face unusually grim. The silence stretched between the two, punctuated only by the soft murmur of the people around him. Awkwardly, Takao patted Rei on the back, nodding meaningfully.

The other youth nodded in response, in understanding, and turned back to watch the person inside the velvet-upholstered coffin. 

Rei didn't want to believe that he was burying his friend, he didn't want to believe that he was the one standing above the maw-like casket, watching someone so dear to him lifeless and oh so pale. He seemed so cold, his skin a painful shade of purplish-white, his eyes closed in tired crescents. Lei Ping [1] was his oldest friend, the person he once felt closest to, the person he considered his brother. 

~*~*~

Kai watched over his distraught teammate from a shadowed corner. Rei's back was taught, tense beneath his dark suit, his hair lying limp between his shoulder blades. What was worse was that his face was completely devoid of emotion. The neko-jin's face was pale, drained of colour and its usual zesty flush. Rei's primrose lips were stretched in a hard line, a painful substitute for his jovial smile. His eyes were murky golden orbs, tired and dull without the sparkle. 

Kai was there when Rei received the news of Lei Ping's death. He watched the other boy when he was talking on the phone, had seen his lips part as if in a silent shriek. He'd also seen the fight in Rei's eyes, between tears and desperation. Kai thought the other teen would break down and cry, scream or wail, ball his hands into fists and beat them on the floor. Instead, Rei bit his lip, hard, and remained still, as if wishing for everything to go away, and pretending it did. 

Kai thought it was strange to watch his companion in such a morose state and know that he wasn't able to do anything. There was also a jolt of realization that he hated seeing Rei so sad, that he missed his smile. The slate-haired boy wanted to do something then, maybe say something to take the sting of the situation away. He didn't know what to do or say, though; he felt awkward and inadequate. 

Even still, Kai had no idea what was a good course of action in a situation such as this. He had never lost anyone, had never considered anyone precious enough to lose. Besides which, Rei had Max, Takao and Kenny by his side; they had feelings, they weren't emotionless bastards, they'd be able to help him. And so Kai settled in to watch his comrade from his designated corner in his designated suit, his garnet-eyed intensity shielded behind a pair of simple glasses. He thought his eyes were too vibrant, filled with too much quiet fierceness for this occasion, so he hid them. 

~*~*~

That night, Kai woke up, his body coated with a sheen of sweat and breath ragged in his throat. He looked about his room, his eyes dashing to this corner and that. It might have been just him, but the darkness seemed darker tonight, more enveloping and caressing than it usually was. Perhaps it was just his sleep-dazed mind's work or the menacing silence in the room, but Kai glanced at the bed beside his own, Rei's bed. From the light streaming through the window, he noted the flat surface of the bed where the other boy's body was supposed to be. 

Kai frowned even deeper than he usually did and sat up in bed. From all his time sharing a room with Rei, the raven-haired boy had never just disappeared during the night. Kai thought he might have gone to the washroom or to get a drink from the small kitchenette in the room; only the shadows moved, as if having a life of their own, but no Rei. 

He remembered the distressed look on his companion, remembered the almost-tears glisten just at the corner of Rei's eyes. _'That's right; the funeral was today,'_ Kai opined disdainfully, unwittingly glancing at the closet where a dreadful blue suit hung. When thinking this, the possibilities, all the 'what if' and 'maybe's concerning Rei, flooded into his mind. It was the middle of the night and of nowhere. Who would notice a poor, wretched boy cut his wrists or swallow too many pills until it was too late to turn back? Who would bother calling for help on the account of a stranger? 

Apprehension and fear settled over in Kai's stomach, swirling and frothing until he couldn't withstand its hold anymore. He sprang out of bed, not comprehending why he was clenching his fists nor why his heart wanted to leap out of his throat, and dashed out the door, in search of his teammate – no, friend. 

Once outside the one-story motel, Kai flew to the back of the building, where a small garden and brook were arranged for the guests. He'd studied Rei enough to realize that the boy was attracted to water, either lapping at his feet or murmuring in his ears. So, logically, it was the natural place for him to... end his life. Kai clenched his fists tighter, until the knuckles felt raw, and hastened his pace, almost desperately, forgetting that he was still in his sleeping attire.

When he reached the little garden alcove, he saw nothing but the rise and fall of trees and the night sky reflected off the surface of the water. He was about to run back to the motel in hopes of finding his friend there, when he fancied he saw a lump he previously thought was a rock move. The mound moved again, and Kai realized it was his renegade comrade. _'What does that idiot think he'd doing?!'_ he berated the raven-haired boy silently, clenching his teeth in anger. He ignored the little pang at the back of his – was it possible? – heart, and forcefully steeled himself from feeling relieved. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Kai demanded, though not harshly, of Rei once he reached him. His own anger surprised him, made him feel guilty. He had no right to feel this way, had no reason for his heart skipping a beat when he thought of what Rei might have done...

Startled, the Chinese lad looked up to him, blinking animatedly. Kai wasn't fooled; he saw the misery in the amber orbs. "I like the water," Rei said quietly after a long while, lowering his gaze to the softly swirling brook, "it helps me relax."

"I know," the bluenette replied just as softly. If Rei hadn't listened, he would have mistaken it for the wind brushing at his mane. 

Feeling awkward just standing there, Kai sat down beside his friend. The silence stretched between them, palpable, threatening. Kai found something so otherworldly in the scene. The stars twinkled mockingly down at him, as if trying to show him how pathetic he was compared to their glory. The waters of the brook were stingy and frigid against his bare feet, trying to punish him for something he didn't realize he'd done. The wind was bitingly cold for a summer's night, whipping his cotton shirt about his frame. Rei, too, was like a solitary statue, glowing coolly and rigidly in the moonlight. 

"What do you think of when you look at the water?" Kai asked quietly, afraid that his voice would disturb the surreal atmosphere. 

"Oh, nothing really," replied Rei, not looking up. "Sometimes I just sit and watch the waters flow. I don't think; I forget how to think. There is just the soft murmuring of water. Then at other times, when I allow myself to think, I just let the water carry my thoughts and feelings and memories onward, with it to wherever it flows. It doesn't hurt as much when you can't remember, you know?"

Kai nodded in understanding. "Ignorance is bliss."

"He was like a brother to me," began Rei after a long, uncomfortable silence. "He is – no, was – the son of the lady who took me in after my parents died."

Kai was shocked, he didn't expect Rei to tell him anything; he doubted Rei had that much trust in him. There were other people, of course, who would actually be able to help him, to do something other and sit like a fool, watching their friend suffer. The bluenette remained silent, allowing Rei to fill the void with his story. 

"I was so frightened of him when they visited me in the hospital after the accident. He seemed big and menacing, I thought him to be a giant. Lei Ping always had a scowl on his face, as if he was mad at the world, or something. You remind me of him so much. He wasn't interested in beyblading, either. When I settled into my new home, almost every night I would make a bet with myself on how far I'd be able to run before the rest of the household woke up. On those nights he would catch me and drag me forcefully to bed; I thought him to be a gremlin then. We avoided each as much as possible, though he always followed me to my bey battles. I realized it later that he was there only to make sure I would be okay." 

Rei sighed and laid his head on his hands, which were enveloping his knees. "That's how he always was. He cared too much about other people, I think. Lei Ping never did anything for just himself, it always to help this person or that. He was enrolled in high school, tried to get the best marks in the entire grade because he wanted to be a doctor, wanted to learn about medicine and help out the village. 

"One time when I was five or so," he continued, "we were picking berries and flowers behind our house. Every second Saturday, Aunt would make her famous pie. I loved those; they were so tender and yummy when fresh, I would always burn my fingers when trying to steal a piece," Rei smiled wistfully at the memory. "So the two of us, Lei Ping and I, were behind the house in a small alcove not unlike this one. There was a river, too. Across from it, I saw this batch of pretty violets; Aunt loved violets, I wanted to give them to her as a 'thank you' gift. I jumped on the first few rocks in the riverbed – I really wanted those flowers. I don't remember how, but my foot slipped and I feel into the water." 

Rei chuckled dryly to himself, as if to an old anecdote and continued, "The water wasn't deep, but I thought I was drowning. I was flailing my arms and crying for help when Lei Ping came out of nowhere and pulled me out," Rei laughed lightly, a sound Kai had dearly missed. "I was completely drenched, my hair – I didn't keep it tied back then – was plastered to my face and there was something squishy in my shoes. I tried to get up but there was a scratch on my knee, it bled and stung a bit. Lei Ping saw this and picked me up on his back to carry me into the house. While walking to the house, he asked me what I was trying to do, and then called me silly for attempting it. After he bandaged my knee, he went out and then came back with a bunch of violets in his hand. I asked him about them and he told me to mind my own business, but I still knew that it was the same flowers I wanted; his pants were wet at the hem." 

Rei's voice was breaking at this point, his breath lodged in his throat and refusing to come out properly. After he began his story, it was as if a dam was broken. He couldn't stop the flow of words, despite the tightness in his throat. There was just something so comforting in sitting with his feet in the cold waters, softly telling his secrets to a close friend. The friend being Kai made it feel even more special. And though Kai had remained perfectly silent the entire time, Rei appreciated it anyway. 

"He always looked out for me," he said brokenly, choking on a sob. "He only cared about me. When I was sick, he was the one to bring me medicine and make sure I swallowed it down. When I was striving to become a pro at beyblading, he was there at every single one of my battles, to make sure that nothing happened to me. He gave me his blessing when I decided to leave the village, and supported me still after that, in the letters we exchanged." 

Kai stole a glance at Rei. The boy's shoulders were shaking with suppressed sobs, his eyes shut tight to prevent moisture from leaking through. He was biting his lips hard, trying to ignore the painful ball in his throat. 

"He died in a car crash," Rei choked out, unwilling to stop the tirade of words, "the same way my parents did. He didn't make it to the hospital on time. Don't you just hate technology? People invent things to make us live better, easier, and yet there's no apparatus that'll stop a person from dying. In the end, the same technology that was supposed to be beneficial to us would kill us.

"Why did he have to die, Kai?" Rei asked, turning his face to his friend. Kai noted with a pang that there were traces of red on the neko-jin's face, as if he tried to scratch the hurt away, to peal it away like a second layer of skin. Rei's eyes were neither accusing nor beseeching, but searching, asking him for answers. 

"I don't know. Fate?" Kai replied softly. 

"Well, then Fate could have chosen another person to play cat's cradle with. Lei Ping was a good person, he didn't deserve to die. So why, then, did some cruel bastard was spared while _he_ died? It's not fair."

"Things are never fair, Rei. Things just are. They come and go at will. Things happen for a reason. Maybe you don't realize it, maybe you don't want to accept it at this moment, but Lei Ping's death had its own purpose. Cherish the times you had with him, instead of the times you could have had. It is a waste of time dwelling in the past because you cannot, no matter how hard you try, get it back. Live for the moment, relish it while it still lasts, and forget about tomorrow or yesterday. That is what Lei Ping would have wanted of you." 

"Oh, Kai!" Rei breathed out before crushing his face against the other boy's chest. Kai was startled, mouth askew and eyes wide. Rei's shaking body was pressed against his own, hands gripping at his shirt, and a curious moisture seeping through the material. He realized that Rei was crying. Rei hadn't shed a tear since he'd heard of the accident. Kai was confused, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what he should have done, but he ignored all reasonable thought and brought his arms about the other boy's shaking form. Tenderly almost, he smoothed the nighttime tangles out of Rei's hair. 

After a while, Rei's quiet sobs subsided to soft intakes of breath and hiccoughs, though he still did not remove his head from the crook between Kai's shoulder and neck. 

"He told me he would never leave me. He said that he would always protect me. I guess he broke his promise," Rei said, his voice small and muffled by Kai's skin and shirt. 

"I'll be here, then," replied Kai, his own voice hushed by sleepiness and Rei's hair. "Since he can't fulfill his promise, then I will do it for him. Just call me when you need me, and I'll come. Wherever and whenever you are, I'll be here."

His voiced carried softly over the small alcove and disappeared, dancing along the wind. He looked down and noted with an almost-smile that Rei was asleep. Kai's friend – his tongue felt awkward manoeuvring around the word – needed help, and he was glad he was there to grant it. And so, the two remained like that until the first rays of sunlight peeked through the clouds, safely nestled in each other's embrace. It was a promise, amongst many other things, and Kai would rather die several times over than break it.

(tbc)

* * * * * * * * 

[1] I borrowed the name from Hikaru no Go, so no relation to Beyblading Lei/ Li/ Lee

Gawd; I almost hate this story. 


	4. Wild Rose

A/N: Ano... sorry I haven't updated this story in a while, but the ML has been going through a rough time lately and no fic challenges were posted until recently. This challenge is based on Shakespeare's "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet..." 

* * * * * * * *

****

Wild Rose

The door opened and closed with a soft "click," allowing a sliver of light to escape into the room before it disappeared again.

Rei looked up from a careful inspection of Drigger in his hands and into Kai's stony face. The Chinese boy was sitting in his darkened room, which he shared (like always) with his taciturn captain, oddly silent, pensively studying his blade. Kai walked in, his strides long and purposeful, no hint that he spent the entire day in relentless and strenuous training. Neither said a word, the former lost in pensive thought, and the latter too unaccustomed to speaking out. 

The blue-haired young man, shoulders and back tense, glanced scrutinizingly at the foreign object in the room. 

"What's this?" He asked coolly, tilting his head to indicate the item. 

"That?" Rei asked, lifting his head for a second before attending to his beyblading once again. "Oh... it's a present."

"...For?" 

"Yours truly," the dark-haired boy answered with a hint of a smile in his voice. 

Kai lifted up the pink tag that was attached to the bouquet of roses in the crystalline vase. _Love you always, Rei ~ Akari._ The little note read in purple ink. _'Akari?'_ Kai thought with surprising disgust, spitting out the name mentally. _'Who does this girl think she is? Openly adoring Rei is one thing, but sending him roses is a different matter entirely. Rei has no time for romance, he should know that.'_

Kai knew perfectly well that the other boy was a popular amongst the girls. It was a well-known fact that out of the four Blade Breakers, Rei was the one who fangirls stalked after performances, threw themselves at while he was walking inconspicuously along the streets, and generally worshipped in every way possible. More than once Kai wondered why the Chinese youth was so appealing, though he had to admit, even if to himself, that Rei did have that certain something that drew people toward him. He remembered a few instances when he would look at Rei, and see the boy with his hair blowing rhythmically along the wind, eyes bright and dancing and a serene smile stretched upon those lips; he looked divinely beautiful. In those cases, Kai found it difficult to think, to breathe; his heart would still in his chest or pick up speed and he didn't know why and he hated himself for it. 

The bluenette also knew that such gifts -- flowers, chocolates, love confessions and sometimes a lingerie item – were not uncommon for his raven-haired friend. Usually, though, the neko-jin hid those before any other of the Breakers could find them. Kai supposed that Rei was a little shy about all the attention he received, or maybe he was trying to be humble in front of his teammates. Perhaps he was ashamed that he was the most loved on their team. 

"Why did you accept it?" Kai asked, scowling. He, for reasons he was unable to discern, didn't like crazed girls – or anyone for that matter – sending such intimate gifts to Rei. 

"I guess I thought they were too beautiful to be thrown away," he answered with a sigh. "And I couldn't exactly say 'no' to her – she put all her heart into those flowers."

Gingerly, Rei reached out a hand to pick up a lush rose. Holding it up by the stem, he inhaled; the bloom smelled of honey and an odd variety of floral accents. It reminded him of many things, of times gone by and feelings he would rather ignore and forget. 

"Kai?" He asked softly, barely above a whisper. 

"Hn?" The other boy ground out, grunt-like. 

"Do you.." Rei hesitated, biting on his lip. "Do you suppose you made the right decision?" 

The cold-hearted blader turned from his contemplation of the sky outside the window. "What do you mean?"

Rei visibly fidgeted in his seat on the bed. "Have you ever wondered if you made the right choice... when you became a pro beyblader?"

"I've never seen the need to wonder; there was nothing for me to think about. I've always wanted to excel in blading, to become the best at it. And I will," Kai answered into the dimness of the room, his voice frigidly cold. 

"B-but, haven't you ever thought of how your life would have been like if you haven't chosen this path? Don't you ever regret some of the things you've done?" The Chinese boy asked. 

"No; I have no regrets. I do not regret becoming what I am today, I do not regret joining this team – despite Takao's pestering – and I do not regret doing the things I've done," _'or the friendship you helped to establish,'_ Kai opined, though those words did not leave his mouth. "As for the other: beyblading is my life, I have nothing else."

Rei sighed quietly, feeling his insides plummet. What had he expected? That Kai would nicely answer all of his inquiries like a good little boy and end the stream of plaguing questions running through his head? He snorted. As if. Kai would rather die a thousand and one deaths before turning over to the good side. Still, Rei was stung by Kai's biting responses, wounded deeply without understanding why. 

The truth was, Rei was fearing that maybe he was wrong for ever getting into Beyblading, after all it was just a game, and one day he would grow up and out of playing such games. And what would he do then? He didn't go to school and practically everything he knew was from independent studies that he'd done. The Chinese youth was afraid that in the end of the Beyblade craze, there would be nothing left for him. No home to come back to since he left the White Tigers, no purpose in life. He even feared that he would lose his friends, after all, he doubted they had much in common outside of Beyblading. 

"Well," he began anew, "suppose that there was no more BBA – no Beyblading entirely – what would happen to you then? Haven't you thought of where you would go, how you'd live without Mr. Dickinson's support? What about friendship and... love?" 

"Love?" Kai spat out, almost growling. "Is this what this is all about? That- that bunch of flowers the girl sent you?"

Rei's eyes widened, his brows knitting together. "No! No. I'm not —" 

"Love is nothing," the bluenette ground out, and suddenly he was standing next to Rei, pulling him up with a tight grip on the small boy's forearms. "Love does not exist. It's a myth, a fairy tale. A story made up by bored wives and girls with bows too big to fit on their puny heads."

Rei clenched his teeth together as if stung, and tightened his fists. He breathed in sharply, feeling a painful prickle in the palm of his hand. Looking briefly down, he noted the trickles of blood, like red ribbons, glide along his pale skin. The long stemmed rose, the same colour as his life fluid, was still in grasped in his hand.

The Chinese boy struggled against the strong hands that held him in place, feebly fighting down a wince. Rei paused abruptly, stilling. He could feel the warmth emanating from Kai's body through the scant inches between them, the air almost palpable. He could smell hard work and sweat and something so decidedly masculine on the captain. It was like an alluring, intoxicating spell washing over him and without him realizing, Rei's pupils enlarged enough to fill his golden eyes and his breath came out at a ragged pitch. 

Fuelled by something more than mere anger, Rei balled his fists tighter, ignoring the sting of the thorns buried inside his tender skin. "There is nothing wrong with caring, Kai," he growled out, his golden eyes dark and menacing, and absolutely captivating (though Kai would swallow his own tongue before admitting_ that_). "No matter how hard you try to run from it, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, the truth is that love _does_ exist and it _is_ real."

Scowling and his grip tightening on Rei's forearms, Kai replied scathingly, "Even if it is real, as you say, it still has no room in my life. I don't want to love; I don't ever want to come close to experiencing it." 

"Why not?" Rei asked, not liking the desperate tone in his voice. "Love is the most powerful emotion on this planet. Kings died for it, and knights gave their lives to protect it. It's wonderful and it encompasses everything you can possibly fathom. No one is immune to it; no one can escape it. It is wonderful and beautiful. Oh, Kai! Do you know what it feels like to be in love?" The neko-jin questioned, barely containing the sob lodged in his throat. "It's glorious and painful at the same time, inviting and repelling. It's like a forbidden taste of Eden. It hurts so much, but you can't help yourself, and you just want to be with that person, even if not in the way you want to. And every glance you receive, every touch and word is special because it came form them. God, it hurts so much..." 

Kai blinked at the smaller boy, feeling his chest tighten. The earnest look in Rei's big, golden eyes, the almost imperceptible whimper escaping his lips. For a moment back there, Kai would have sworn that Rei was talking about himself, prophetically and imploringly. The message was hidden from him, and he was afraid to seek out the answer. At the same time, the pain barely concealed in those orbs also made the blue-haired boy's stomach muscles clench and twist. 

"Still, love is useless to me, meaningless and unnecessary. I want nothing to do with it," He replied icily. "And I also don't want anyone's worry or care or adoration. I am solitary, independent; I need nothing and no one." 

"Bullshit, Kai. You know as well as I do that you can't last like that for a long time —"

"I will – I have to." 

Before Rei could open his mouth to reply, Kai was moving toward the door. The bluenette stole a furtive glance at his friend from underneath his bangs. Then, with an ominous "click," the door closed again and Rei was plunged into the dead silence of the room, leaving him wondering at the abrupt closure in their conversation. 

The irony almost made him cry, and as it was, he had to bite down on the lump in his throat. Kai was like the rose still clutched in his hand, despite the slowly drying blood and the now barely existent sting. He was beautiful, wild and natural and free. His heart beat steadily inside his chest, red and soft and warm like the silky petals of the flower. But to get to that heart, one had to get through the deadly thorns and frigid barriers. And then, once inside, if you survived the trip there with _your_ heart remaining, you'd have to face with the fact that the soul inside is too beautiful for you to tame. 

But then, even if Kai had grown up in different circumstances, had made different decisions, would he really be any different from what he was today? Would Rei still feel that same bond with him if he was different? He doubted it; after all, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, so Kai would, too. 

Minutes, or maybe hours or days later, Rei couldn't tell, he left the dim room. Outside, Takao, Max and Kenny were sprawled on the couch, their eyeballs glued to the television set. Rei was about to go to the adjacent kitchenette when Max's soft voice interrupted him. 

"Hey, Rei, what's wrong with your hand?" 

The Chinese boy glanced at his hand, finally realizing that he still held the crimson rose and that blood tricked in rivulets along the crevices of his palm. 

Smiling ruefully, he said, "It's nothing, Maxie. I've just pricked myself on a rose's thorn."

(tbc)


	5. Happy Birthday, Reichan

* * * * * * * * 

****

Happy Birthday, Rei-chan

"Kai?" 

The blue-haired boy growled softly in his throat, not wishing to be interrupted while he was studying the defence gear on his Dranzer.

"Kai?" 

The voice, belonging to Max, came more insistent, even worried slightly. 

"What now?" The captain ground out from between clenched teeth, tightening his hold on his beyblade as if fearing that it would be taken away from him. 

"I-it's nothing," Max stuttered, fidgeting under Kai's intense scrutiny. "I-it's just that... have you seen Rei?" 

The bluenette paused in his mental assault of the smaller boy, his breath catching in his throat annoyingly. Steeling his composure, he replied coolly, "Why should I know where he has got himself into. He's a big boy, the last time I checked." 

The blonde looked away, as if in shame, but continued nonetheless, "Well, the guys and myself can't find him anywhere and he has been gone for a rather long time." 

"So?" He shrugged dismissively, though if you truly knew Kai (and not many did) you'd see that his shoulders were oddly tense. "He's old enough to wander off by himself, isn't he? Why should it matter to me?"

"Get your head out of whatever hole you crawled into, Mr. Impenetrable," retorted Takao, appearing as if by magic beside his fair-haired friend, sneering at his leader. "If you just stopped for a moment to think of your teammates instead of yourself, you'd see that Rei l —" 

"It's Rei's birthday today, Kai," Max said hastily, elbowing his friend none-too-gently. 

"Nonsense!" The blue-haired boy hissed at the two. "If it was his birthday, he'd have told you, you're practically joined at the hip," he said the last part almost bitterly. He knew too well that Rei had a strong bond with the rest of the team, himself excluded. All he was to the other boy was a fearless leader and a thorn in the side. 

"But it is," stated Max, his cerulean eyes large and wide. Looking into them, Kai was almost certain that he was telling the truth. "Mr. Dickinson phoned the hotel to congratulate Rei on his sweet sixteenth, but we knew nothing of it and he wasn't there. And now we can't find him anywhere." 

"That's not like him at all, oh Brave Captain," Takao piped in, sounding sarcastic but the worry clearly evident by the knitting of his brows. "That's why we're looking for him." 

"So what do you expect _me_ to do?" Kai asked, scowling.

"Why – I dunno – help us search for him," the Dragon said, irritated. "He's a member of your team, after all. Or are you just too selfish to care for another human being?" 

That did it and with a low grunt, Kai shoved his Dranzer into his pant pocket and stalked away, clenching and unclenching his fists while doing so. Some murderous thoughts flew around in his head, but he ignored them for the task ahead. If he was truthful with himself, he'd admit that he, too, was worried about the neko-jin. But Kai couldn't recall a moment in his life when truth was his highest priority, so he lied and told himself that the nervous twitch in his stomach was just hunger or anticipation over the match that was coming up. 

When Kai left, Max turned to Takao pouting. "Why did you do that for? You almost told him that Rei —" 

"Hey, hey, hey, relax, Maxie," he swatted at the air dismissively. "He didn't hear anything, so that should be enough. Besides, is it my fault that he's so blind he won't see what's so clearly in front of his face?" 

The blonde sweat-dropped. "Takao, you're not exactly Mr. Insightful here." 

* * * * * * * * 

The sun was beginning to set and still Kai kept up the search. He didn't know why, perhaps because he was too thick headed to give up, but he simply knew that he couldn't – wouldn't – quit. Rei was his friend, his only one, he reasoned, so of course he had to look for him. The anxiety nibbling on his stomach muscles did not abate but got steadier and stronger as time progressed. He racked his hand through his hair, wanting to scream in frustration. 

The team was staying in Marseillaise this time; a beautiful city in the coastal France. Kai wandered down the docks not too far from the hotel, his darting eyes hidden by his long fringe. He tightened his grasp of Dranzer in his pocket, his fingers brushing against a small box beside the 'blade. Guilt and maybe affection (though he called it 'the feelings that were evoked in a camaraderie') gnawed on his conscious and he, although reluctantly, bought a small present for his friend. 

He came to stand at the end of a pier, looking over the expanse of scarlet-painted sea. He remembered when not too long ago he comforted Rei by a small brook, how the neko-jin liked water. Impulsively, Kai jumped off the pier and into the sun-warmed sands. He trotted though the sand, irritated at how the small grains managed to get inside his shoes. There was a sizable boulder ahead of him, and, despite himself, Kai rolled his eyes at what appeared to be an obvious cliché. 

He walked up to the bulky rock, careful that the sand muffled his steps. Almost as if on cue, he heard the catch of the other's breath and a stifled sob. The other boy's crying was nothing new to Kai; he had been woken up several times by Rei's soft crying during their travels. The sound has always made him bite his lip, hard, and his heart take on a painful rhythm. But he never said anything, pretending to be asleep. And this time was no different; he felt a painful knot form in his stomach and the tightening of his throat. He wanted to escape, he didn't know how to handle such situations, but he also knew that he couldn't. 

"So that is where you decided to hide yourself, Rei," he said loudly enough to be heard over the _swish_ of waves. 

"K-Kai! I didn't hear you coming," he said, looking up at his leader from where he was almost curled on the sand. 

The bluenette just snorted softly and plopped down beside his friend. 

"Why haven't you told anyone it's your birthday today?" Kai asked after a while, looking out to the sea. The sun had sunk halfway into the water, the reflection touching the original to make a full circle. This way, the sun was made whole, complete, like a joining of two beautiful bodies. (Kai cringed mentally at the poetic reference; he was no poet.) The water was gold where the sun touched, streaks of brilliant orange and vermilion touching the horizon. Kai just realized how beautiful it looked, maybe because the sunset was at its full glory at the moment, or maybe because of the person whose company he held. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rei stated defiantly, drawing shapes in the sand with a stick. 

Kai snorted. "You don't expect me to believe that, do you? I've known you long enough to know when you're lying." It was true, he did know. Rei's voice would always hitched up a notch and he'd always look away guiltily. "Besides which, Mr. Dickinson called to wish you a happy birthday." 

"So I lied, what difference does that make?" 

"Plenty," Kai said looking at Rei's profile. The wind was picking at his hair, playfully, tugging the silken strands around his cherub-like face. On that same sun-kissed face he saw dried streaks, painfully obvious, but he ignored them to save Rei some dignity. "Aren't we supposed to be your teammates and friends? And shouldn't friends know something as important about each other?" 

"Yeah, but I didn't —" he began only to be interrupted by the captain. 

"Takao, Max and Kenny were really worried," Kai said quietly, leaving out one crucial person. "Why didn't you say anything?" 

Rei glared at the sand, a furious red staining his cheeks. "It's stupid." 

"Ha! Takao's jokes are stupid," Kai retorted. "Now come on; tell me what could be so 'stupid,' as you put it, to ignore your birthday." 

The tone in the blue-haired boy's voice left no room for compromise, and so with a sigh, the red hue on his cheeks deepening, Rei stuttered to say, "I-I don't want to grow up." 

Laugher was bubbling up in Kai's throat but he suppressed it; that would be very un-Kai-like thing to do, indeed. "That's it?" He asked, his face softening unwittingly. 

"Don't laugh," Rei retorted, pouting. "Yes, that's it, I don't want to grow old."

"Why?" 

"Because then the dream would end and I'll no longer have you," the Chinese boy answered softly, scratching out the picture he drew in the sand. 

"That's ridiculous," Kai said dubiously. "You'll always have us –" here Rei exhaled sharply, noting the mistake in Kai's assumption "– we're a team. Teams don't just break up because one member is older or younger than the rest." 

"Maybe you're right," Rei replied with a sigh. "It's just that sometimes I don't feel real, you know? I never knew my parents and that makes me feel like I've never truly been born. Like I just magically appeared, a fragment of somebody's imagination. Everything that has happened to us – everything that is happening right now – how can you tell that its real? How can you tell that _you're_ real?" 

Suddenly, a warm hand was placed on Rei's chest, right above his heart. Startled, he looked up to Kai's perpetually frowning face. The warm hand, palm down, sent an electric-like thrill up his spine. He could feel the calluses from various battles and the steady beat of Kai's heart transmitted through the hand and through the thin fabric of his shirt. Much to his embarrassment, crimson, like fire, spread along his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. 

"W-what are —" 

Kai harrumphed, spreading his fingers on the other boy's chest, completely ignoring the panic in the other's voice. (Rei thought he might as well croak over and die.) After a while in such position, he removed his hand, and, when Rei was about to breathe out a sigh of relief, placed the side of his face to the same spot. 

"Kai! What in the world —" Rei exclaimed, squirming in his position. 

"Shhh," the boy in question murmured against the neko-jin's chest. The Chinese boy felt his heart hammer painfully into his side, as if wanting to escape. He felt Kai's warm breath through the shirt, and for a moment he thought he did die. _'Oh, _**Gawd**_!' _he thought to himself, frantically, dreamily, _'I can feel his heat so close, it's almost as if it has become my own.' _

"Hm... I don't understand..." the bluenette said softly once he removed his head from Rei's chest. 

"What? What?" 

"Hn... your heart... " Kai touched the spot again, with tentative, uncertain almost, fingers. 

"Yes? Yes, what about my heart?" Rei fought down the anxiousness in his voice, long since forgetting about his tomato-like face. 

"It's... It's beating... " 

Rei wanted to tug at his hair and scream or cry at the same time. "So? Everybody's heart has a beat, doesn't it?" 

"Yes, but if you're not real," Kai began slowly, like to a child, "you're not supposed to have a heart. Y_ou_ do, and it beats strongly. Doesn't that mean that you're real?" 

Rei's eyes softened, the gold of them resembling that of the dying sunset. Now he understood what Kai was trying to do, though sloppily. He appreciated the effort anyway, especially since it came form Kai. "Hai, I suppose," he replied with a small smile. "Thank you."

"Does that mean that I don't have to give you this then?" Kai asked with the beginning of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, taking a hold on the box in his pocket but not taking it out and rising up from is position. 

The pointed ends of Rei's ears twitched in what Kai thought was a very cat-like gesture. He almost smiled. "What's that?" The Chinese boy asked curiously, pointing to Kai's hand. 

"This? Oh, it's the present I got for you – in case you needed persuasion," Kai said, turning and starting to walk at a leisurely pace. "But since you don't, I might as well take it back." 

"B-but Kai!" The dark-haired boy called, hastily reaching for his shoes, which he had previously discarded and jogged up to catch up with his friend. "Can I still have it?" 

He saw the taller boy shrug nonchalantly. "Maybe; if I feel like it."

Rei stalled and pouted at Kai's retreating back. "You're a meany and a tease, you know that Kai?" He called out, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"I know," the other boy called back. "Here, catch!" 

Rei reached out in time to catch the small projectile in his hand. His breath lodged in his throat for a moment. It was a pristine box. _'The exact same shape as a ring box,' _he thought dazedly. _'But no, Kai isn't the type to... ' _

Inside the box, cushioned by velvet the colour of midnight, was a small, crystalline bell. It was the same type as the one that belonged to his stuffed tiger, which he always hid under his pillow and only took out when he was certain that there wasn't a person in a five-mile radius. Kai must have caught him holding it once. Rei smiled at the tiny accessory, and after closer inspection saw the tiny inscription on the side. _Koneko_, it read. 

"Thank you, Kai!" He called to his friend through the distance. 

In mere moments, he had caught up with his leader. The other boy looked down at him for a moment, glad to see the smile on the neko-jin's face. "Happy birthday, Rei-chan," he whispered softly, quietly like the breeze that came from the sea. It was so quiet; Rei almost didn't hear him. 

(tbc)

* * * * * * * * 

*cough*corn*cough* Gawd! That was too much!! 


	6. In Sickness and In Health

A/N: Pardon for the French, I had an impulsive urge to use some^^ (I love languages so I tend to use them quite often. Wait until I start using Latin o_O Dum mortis nos dividat... hehe)

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In Sickness and In Health

[_Tu es comme la lumière; pure, fantastique, éphémère et durant à jamais, comme un rêve et plus encore. Tu m'étreins fort et me laisse voler sur tes ailes brillantes. J'effleure le ciel et cueille une étoile éblouissante dans la paume de ma main et je pris pour que ta lumière reste près de moi, pour toujours.] _

~You are like light; sheer, visionary, ephemeral and ever lasting, dream-like and more so. You hold me close and let me fly with your lucid wings. I touch the sky and grasp a dazzling star in the palm of my hand and I pray that your light would remain beside mine, forever.~ 

"C'mon, Kai, a few steps more." 

Rei said desperately to the other boy, even though Kai was dangerously limp in his arms and hadn't said anything since the Chinese youth found him. Rei had one of Kai's arms slung around his neck, the other held tightly in his grasp. The captain's entire body was slumped into the side of the other, for balance and support. Both boys were soaked, the older of the two more so. 

Rei bit down the blistering ball in his throat when he felt Kai suppress a shiver. The bluenette was barely conscious, the neko-jin realized from the way the other's eyes drooped heavily, how his head lolled lifelessly from side to side. Kai's wild hair was matted to his forehead, sleeked with sweat and rainwater, the face peeking underneath a ghastly shade, the lips a purple hue. As it was, Rei was half-dragging, half-carrying his companion. 

The Chinese boy himself was in no better condition. He could barely see three feet in front of him; the rain, his own hair and what he recognized as tears marring his vision. His body felt heavy, the clothes clinging to him, his pants dragging along the cobblestones, and there was the added weight of another human being bracing on him for support. Kai's body crushed against his own was frighteningly cold, frigid to the touch. And still, the rain pelted heavily down on them, mercilessly beating on their already worn forms.

Minutes – hours, it seemed – later, Rei stumbled into their hotel suite. Immediately, the other three boys rushed from where they were anxiously waiting to help Kai onto the bed. The Chinese boy looked at his captain and friend lying on the bed. He was still, lifeless almost, seeming so broken and fragile. A strained breath escaped Rei's throat. 

"Where did you find him?" Kenny asked, worried and scared at the same time. 

"It doesn't matter," Rei replied hoarsely, angrily wiping off his tears (which the others mistook 

for rainwater) and stalked off to the adjoining room. He paced around the room, tense and ardent; like a caged tiger, thought Takao. "Idiot," the boy muttered. "That **IDIOT**!" Rei suddenly got the urge to smash something, to inflict as much pain onto something as he was feeling at the moment. 

"Calm down, Rei," Max's hand was on his shoulder, comforting. A gentle smile was on his lips, though he couldn't hide the worry. "It won't do any good if you went on a rampage and obliterated half the Earth's population." 

"But what can I do, Maxie? What if I hadn't made it on time? It would have been all my fault," he whispered dejectedly. "God... Kai..." 

"Why don't you play good doctor for him, Rei? _That's_ sure to make him feel... better," Takao said after the stretch of silence became too painful, a playful, furtive smirk on his lips. "And maybe that'll do the trick and get that three-foot yardstick out of his ass."

"Takao!" Max exclaimed, flabbergasted, smacking the wild-haired boy upside the head. 

"B-but — Maxie!" he stuttered, rubbing the bump on his skull. 

"It's no time to joke around, guys," Rei said morosely, opening the door a crack and taking a peek into the dim room. Kai was still lying on the bed, motionless, like a useless rag doll. "What if Kai doesn't make it?" 

The other boys looked at each other guiltily, their shoulders hanging dejectedly. The seriousness of the situation weighted down on them, palpable. 

"Rei's right, we have to do something," Kenny piped in, already opening his laptop to check for help tips on the net. 

"I'll go and see what can be done," the Chinese boy said, heading to the other room. 

"Wait, Rei, you've already done enough. Let one of us take care of things," Takao began but was stopped by Max's hand on his own. 

"Just go, Rei," Max said with a little smile. "He needs you. Call us if something is wrong."

The older youth nodded appreciatively, and murmured a "Thanks, Maxie" before entering the room in which Kai lay lifeless on the bed. 

* * * * * * * * 

It was silent inside the room, Rei couldn't even hear the soft intakes of breath of the other boy, which seemed so much more painful than it should have been. Uncertainly, warily, he ambled up to the bed. He let the tips of his fingers brush against Kai's pale hand. He received no response. The boy then brought his hand to touch the side of Kai's face; the skin felt cold against his palm, clammy from the rain and sweat. 

Rei sighed tiredly; the other blader was still in wet clothes, soaking in the bed sheets. After digging up a shirt and jumper in Kai's duffel bag, Rei removed the boy's sodden clothes, too worried to smother the heat that crept up his cheeks, and struggled to pull fresh ones on. He then took the pillows from his own bed and put them under Kai's head. 

He dragged a chair up to the bed and sat, watching, bating his breath. Rei nibbled on his lip anxiously, holding desperately onto Kai's hand. _'Everything is my fault,'_ he thought despondently. _'If I hadn't said those mean things to you, if I had paid more attention to you instead of myself, then you wouldn't be here like this. If only I hadn't been so stupid... Oh, please, Kai, don't leave me, I can't... I can't be without you... God, please, Kai....' _

"Oh, Kai..." Rei breathed out softly, choking on a sob, masking it behind a humourless laugh. 

"I thought you were supposed to be the strong one out of the two of us." 

Rei bowed his head, allowing his lips to softly brush against Kai's hand, whilst his tears escaped from his eyes, the small drops falling onto the pale flesh of the other. 

* * * * * * * * 

Kai was lost in the black depths of oblivion. There was pain at first, igniting and electrifying. Now that pain settled to a dull nagging ache somewhere in the back of his being, and he remained floating in the dark abyss of the aftermath. He was cold, oh so cold! He wanted to curl into a tight little ball and hide, flee from the cold and the darkness. He wanted everything to end.

He was just floating in nothingness, feeling both weightless and heavy. Then, at one point, millennia later, there came warmth. A little touch, a whisper against his skin, originating at his hand and travelling in cathartic waves throughout his body. He shivered, desperate for more of that warmth. He called out, an incoherent word, a name he remembered from once before. And there came light, brilliant and enveloping, embracing him, caressing him, and he knew that despite everything he would make it. 

* * * * * * * * 

Rei watched in the weaning hours of the night as colour returned to Kai's body. The two-toned hair was now dry, caked with sweat and rain; Rei brushed it from the boy's forehead, feeling the skin for temperature. The flesh was hot with a thin layer of sweat, an angry pink staining Kai's cheeks. His breath came out in ragged intakes, dry and seemingly in desperate need for air. The captain coughed harshly, his body jolting from the action. 

Rei almost wanted to laugh, though tears were still fresh in his eyes. Colds and fevers he could handle. From years of living in nowhere among the mountains, the neko-jin became an expect in survival with limited resources. He'd nursed enough flue patients back to health. But this time it was different, this time, the stakes were raised an octave, this time, he couldn't make a single mistake. 

"Just hold on for a little while, Kai, and I promise you, everything would be all right," he whispered, lightly squeezing the other's hand. 

Hastily, he fetched a container with cool water and a cloth, which he moistened. Sitting down on his hunches, he soothingly daubed the damp cloth along Kai's forehead and cheeks, wiping away the sweat. Kai coughed again, which made Rei bite down on another worried sob. The Chinese boy didn't even care that he was ridiculously tired, that he hadn't slept in a long while or that he was still wearing the soiled clothes from before. Kai was more important. 

And so, Rei stayed beside his friend, tenderly smoothing out his hair, gently wiping away the sweat coating his body and flinching painfully every time Kai coughed or contorted in pain. 

Hours later, when the sun was high above in the sky, the torrent clouds having escaped whence they came, Kai's eyes fluttered open. Rei wanted to cry or scream, or kiss his captain to Kingdom Come 

* * * * * * * * 

Kai groaned mentally, feeling pain, like a massive wave, assault his head. He had retained some semblance of order now; his world was no longer a spinning, maw-like void, but a soft surface underneath him and a warm hand on his own. With a great amount of difficulty, Kai opened his eyes. At first the image was blurry, a distorted rendition of the real picture, but then the fog cleared and he could make out Rei's large, golden orbs not too far away. Kai felt the gaze like a breath of fresh air, or a ray of light, like the one in his delirium. 

"Never thought I'd see the mighty Kai fall down from grace because of something as stupid as a cold," Rei teased lightly, smiling down at Kai, the boy's fingers dancing delicately over his skin. Even though there was a grin stretched on those lips, Kai saw the worry and tiredness, too; there were dark crescents under Rei's eyes, his lips held too tight for the smile to be real. 

"I feel like somebody smashed my face with a shovel," Kai managed to say through his dry throat. "For how long have I been out?" 

Rei checked his watch. "For nearly eleven hours now." 

Kai groaned again, beginning to rise from the bed. "I need to get back to practice." 

"No, Kai, you can't," said the neko-jin, pushing him back into the bed. "You're sick, you can't possibly battle now."

Sighing, Kai relented and laid down; he had to admit, the room did have a painful tilt to it and he was unusually hot. He glared at the ceiling, silently counting the pebbles, wishing the misery of the situation away. "Did you look after me all this time?" he asked quietly. 

"Hai," replied the other boy, though reluctantly. 

"Hn." 

The silence stretched, uncomfortable and ominous. "I was scared, you know?" Rei said after a long while, looking at his lap. "I didn't know where you were and I was afraid of what could happen. And then I saw you lying on the ground with rain beating down on you... You wouldn't move, wouldn't react at all, and for a moment... I thought you'd... you'd died... And I was afraid that I'd die, too, because you seem so strong and it's heard to believe that someone like you could get hurt..." Rei knew that he was babbling now; his throat felt so tight. "And I thought that if I got you home and warmed up you'd wake up and everything would be fine..." 

"And look, I'm awake and dandy," said Kai, unconsciously trying to lighten the mood. He didn't like seeing Rei so broken and sad; he never wanted to see Rei like this because of _him._

"No, it's not," the raven-haired boy lamented. "You're sick and you're bedridden, and all because of me. If I hadn't said those stupid, stupid things to you, wouldn't have gone out and gotten sick." 

"Rei..." Kai winced when he heard a quivering mewl escape the other's throat. "Rei, it's not your fault, you didn't do anything. In fact, you were right, I am an emotionless bastard. I don't deserve someone like you for a friend." 

"Then why did you leave so suddenly?" The neko-jin asked, hurt at Kai's words. 

"I needed to take a walk to clear some thoughts. You shouldn't have worried," the bluenette replied, brushing his thumb over Rei's knuckles. 

"Kai, you were gone for nearly four hours in the rain, of course I would worry," he said, lightly punching his friend with his free hand. "And you did lose consciousness." 

A shrug and a jest. "I just felt tired all of a sudden. Wanted to light down." 

"You jerk, promise me that you'd never leave me?" 

Kai grinned slightly and closed his eyes, feeling weariness gnaw on him. "Silly, I already promised you that." 

"Then promise me you won't do something so stupid ever again, I couldn't stand to lose you now. We'd be always together; through the thick and the thin; through sickness and health; through tough and pain. Forever." 

The two-toned boy nodded sleepily, murmuring "promise" and lost himself to blissful dreamscape. Rei watched as his friend's face became still in contentment and smiled lightly. Kai was all right, a bit weatherworn, but kicking, and that was enough to make Rei a very happy neko-jin. With a little sigh and a yawn, he closed his eyes and laid his head on the bed, the rest of him still kneeling on the floor. The fingers of one hand were intertwined with those of Kai's, and in the other hand Rei was holding the little crystalline bell that Kai gave him for his birthday. 

[_Ne dis jamais que tu es désolé, et ne me laisse jamais partir..._] 

~Never say you're sorry, and never let me go...~ 

(tsuzuku...) 

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Also, forgive me for the crappiness of this chapter; I'm not feeling up to the par lately, maybe that's because Hikaru no Go will no longer be running ;_______________; 


	7. Teach Me, Kai

A/N: Oi, this was such a yummy challenge... though I wish I took it a bit farther... Thanks to everyone who reviewed *rubs at tears* 'Thank you list' at the bottom. 

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Teach Me, Kai

"Hey, Maxie, look what I can do!" 

Takao's bubbly voice rang throughout the fenced area of the private pool, directly followed by a giggle and a loud _SPLASH!_

Rei glanced up from the book on his lap, irritated at the hundreds of little splatters of water on what once was perfectly clean – and new – paper. The black ink was beginning to smudge, the beautifully printed words of Keats'_ Ode to Melancholy _(1) smearing across the page. He glared from above his shades at Takao, whose wild-haired head was bobbing up and down at the surface of the water, and closed the book for protection against the onslaught of more water. 

"Nice job, Takao," Max called laughingly, wiping off the droplets from where they landed on his face and bare chest. "Next time try not to get me soaking." 

"Will do, Maxie. Wanna help me practice?"The playful boy suggested, wiggling his eyebrows at his blonde friend, though the action seemed more comical than evocative. 

Despite the fact that his book was soaking and nearly ruined, Rei laughed lightly at the indignant look on Max's face. With a huff, the fair-haired one replied, "And risk of being drowned by you? Never!" 

Takao guffawed loudly and attempted to splash some more water on his friend. "I'll have you still!"

Max giggled again, jumping up and behind the recliner he'd been lying on, using it to shield himself. "You won't be able to unless you can get me!" 

"You'll never get away from me, Maximilian; I'll capture you no matter the cost!" The rambunctious one yelled across the expanse of the swimming pool. 

Rei laid back in his own recliner, tilting his face to the sun, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly. It was late afternoon, the sun barely touching the horizon, leaving a vermilion hue over where it brushed. Despite it being early September, the day was warm, a teasing breeze playing with his hair. Lying back like this, the warm sun kissing his skin, Rei felt himself slowly begin to relax, the tenseness leaving his shoulders. 

The company was staying in one of Mr. Dickinson's country estates, the rotund businessmen having invited them for a weekend getaway from the rest of the world and beyblading (much to Kai's chagrin). Kenny was somewhere inside, complaining about the heat from the sun disrupting with Dizzi's 'external sensors output'. Kai had disappeared somewhere, too, as he usually did when there was no beyblading to be done. And the other two boys (Double Dumb and Triple Dim, Kai sometimes called them) were currently having a water fight in the secluded pool area. 

Rei smiled softly at their antics, a warm feeling spreading over his insides. The two of them, together, reminded him of something so distinctly childish. Innocence, perhaps, or naïveté. Something he didn't have too much of; his life had mostly been spent on chasing knowledge and enlightenment, training and trying to achieve unattainable goals. He felt light inside when listening to they happiness. And, if he was truthful, he was a bit jealous, too; he wanted what they had, he wanted to feel the same warmth, the same bubbly happiness, and the same affectionate bond with another human being. 

And while he thought this, the dying sun washed over him, the breeze lazily tugged at his hair and lulled him into a serene sleep. 

* * * * * * * * 

A tired sigh escaped Kai's lips as he moved through the dark interior of the house. Tiny beats of perspiration gathered at the back of his neck and on his brow, which the boy wiped off offhandedly. He walked up to the screen door separating the kitchen from the backyard, where a large, light illuminated pool dominated. He opened the door and stepped out, releasing another breath when the cool air touched his face. 

The stoic boy looked at the water, crystalline and glowing because of the hundreds of small lights on the bottom of the pool. It swirled gently, playfully lapping at the tiled edges, beckoning him closer, to break its beauty with his form. Kai always loved to swim – maybe it had something to do with the calmness of water or the nature of its cold perfection – though he kept that fact mostly to himself. Swimming was something special to him, a getaway from the days' toils; a time when he could let go and just let himself float. It wasn't often that he had such open opportunity to succumb to this little piece of pleasure, so he took all he could when it was available to him. 

The water continued to _swish_ gently, the light dancing on its surface. A little self-consciously, Kai untied the belt that held his robe secure and let the cloth fall to his feet, tiny goose-pimples beginning to crawl on his skin. He kicked it to the side with one foot, feeling the water's temperature with the other. He was about to dive in when he heard a faint sigh behind him. Feeling threatened, Kai turned abruptly, his knees and arms bent in a defensive stance. 

Kai didn't like to be interrupted when doing something as private and personal as swimming. _'Takao and Max probably sneaked in for a nightly rendezvous,' _he thought with a dark glare in the general direction of the disruption. Another soft sigh and a disjointed murmur was heard. Stealthily, the bluenette crept closer to it, poised to pounce. 

"Watta..." 

A dark form was curled on the plastic recliner, a rope of long, black hair hanging off to the side, tail-like. 

"...Rei..." 

The name left Kai's mouth before he could stop it. Almost warily, he watched as the neko-jin's ears pricked and twitched, one golden crusted eyes opening lazily. 

"G'mornin', Kai. What are you doing here?" He asked yawning, fighting an urge to curl up again and brushing at his hair self-consciously.

"It's nearly midnight, and what are _you _doing here?" The other glared at his icily. 

Rei sat up, wincing slightly at the soreness in his side. _'Just great,'_ he thought with a cringe, _'those two simpletons let me fall asleep and forgot all about me. Fun-tastic, now I must have a huge sunburn on the right side of my face. Welcome tie-dye pussy cat.'_

With a sheepish grin, he looked up to his leader and said intelligently, "Err... I fell asleep?" 

Kai turned away from him and headed to the side of the pool, saying over his shoulder, "Then go on inside and finish your nap."

Rei watched, curious, as Kai stood facing the blue-tinted water, the sparkles playing on his face. For the first time he noticed that the captain was wearing only a pair of navy-coloured swim trunks. He blushed as his eyes travelled the expanse of the cold boy's lithe figure. Broad shoulders, graceful neck and legs, the view wasn't bad at all from the front, either — '_beautiful_,' Rei thought. 

He wasn't feeling sleepy any more. "Maybe I don't want to go inside, maybe I want to enjoy the sight – it's beautiful tonight," he said with just a hint of a haughty smirk in his voice. 

"Suit yourself," replied the other. 

Maybe it was the familiarity of Rei's presence so close to his own, or maybe he was feeling more open tonight, but Kai didn't care whether Rei was there to watch him enacting his ritual. In fact, Kai felt a warm, bubbly feeling slither into the pit of his stomach. He, for whatever reason his mind deigned suitable, wanted Rei to watch him. 

Gracefully, he walked over to the slightly raised platform, feeling Rei's feline eyes follow his every move, stopping when he reached the end of the dais. The two-toned boy stole a furtive glance at his (not unwanted) companion, stretched his arms out and up and then, with another deep breath, jumped. 

Rei watched, mesmerized, as Kai outstretched his arms, the muscles on his back taut and glistening with a thin layer of sweat (here Rei's, now persistent, blush deepened). For a moment, when the older boy leapt into the air, he looked like he was flying; though his wings were invisible. Then, to Rei's amazement, he twisted in mid-glide and plunged into the cool blue depths. The water opened up to him, swallowing him whole, welcoming him like that was where he truly belonged; there were no splashes. Rei thought this was a befitting the cold boy; after all, 'Kai' meant 'ocean', so naturally he was one with it. 

Almost as if in a daze, Rei walked up to the side of the pool and plopped down. He watched as Kai resurfaced, his face sleek with water and wet hair. 

"I didn't know you could do that," the Chinese boy said when the other swam close. 

"You never asked so I never said anything," Kai replied with a shrug, exhilarated. He always enjoyed the feeling of water rushing against his body; it made him feel alive, free. 

"You didn't even give me a hint, how was I to know?"

Another shrug and Kai kicked off the side of the pool, disappearing under the water. Rei longingly watched his form resurface and submerge. Kai looked so natural in the water, like he was a force of nature himself. His stokes were strong, his body cleaving the water like a knife. The Chinese boy wanted to join him, to be a part of that oneness with Kai; in a way, he envied the water and how it could freely touch the stoic boy's body. 

After a while, Kai swam back to the ledge where he left his raven-haired friend. While he was swimming laps around the large pool, he felt Rei's eyes boring into him. Oddly enough, he didn't feel like his privacy was being invaded, but, rather, like he was placed on a pedestal for admiration. Even though the water was cool, he felt a warm flush spread over his skin. 

"Care to join me?" He asked on impulse and immediately after the words left his mouth, he wanted to bash his head open on something hard. The lines were overly cliché, not to mention way out of his character. 

"I - I can't," replied the neko-jin, averting his gaze to something other than the smouldering garnets in front of him. 

"Why not?" 

"...Because I don't know how to swim..." this was said timidly and quietly, almost like a whisper of the wind against ones' face and hair. Kai heard it anyway. 

"I thought you liked water," the older boy fought down a smirk. 

"Just because I like water doesn't mean that I have to like swimming _in_ it," Rei huffed, tracing a droplet on the cold tiles with his finger. 

"Why?" 

Mortified, Rei lifted his gaze to meet the other's, only to drop it again. He let his foot graze the water's surface, his toes curling at the unexpected cold. He didn't like to admit that he had a weakness, but he also knew that in order to conquer that weakness, he also needed to face it. "Well... I..." he brought a hand to brush his hair out of his eyes, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Don't laugh...T-the water is cold and wet and it gets into your eyes and mouth... and I'm afraid I'll drown.. " 

"That's it?" Kai raised an inquisitive brow, a smirk tugging at his lips. 

The Chinese boy nodded, glaring at his reflection in the water. "I guess I never found the need to." He looked at the other through the reflection, fathoming his reaction. The bluenette didn't say anything.

"Teach me, Kai?" He asked, timidly nibbling on his bottom lip. 

"Sudden change of heart, hm?"

Rei shrugged nonchalantly; it wouldn't do to tell Kai that the new interest in the sport was due entirely to _him_. He kicked the water with his foot, sending a small shower of droplets in Kai's general direction. "Now's as good a time to learn as any." 

The bluenette's first instinct was to give the other an outright 'no'; he had no time for helping out, even a friend. But Rei was different, special, though Kai couldn't quite determine why. The neko-jin's eyes were deep and pleading, staring up at him. Maybe the icicle was melting, but Kai couldn't find it in himself to say no. 

"Come then," he said, outstretching his arms to the younger boy, "let's get this lesson over with." 

Rei smiled goofily and hastily removed his simple t-shirt and pants, being careful to remove the bell necklace as well, revealing black swimming trunks underneath. Shyly, averting his eyes from Kai's scrutiny, he moved to the stairs on the side of the pool. Gingerly, the neko-jin plunged a slim leg in the water, withdrawing it a moment later. He repeated this process until Kai's voice interrupted him. 

"What are you doing?" 

"I'm trying to get used to the water – it's cold," Rei replied, continuing on with the procedure. 

"That's not how you do it," the two-toned boy said coolly, swimming up to his struggling friend with the ladder. Sneakily, his fingers curled around the other's foot. With a tiny smirk, he applied pressure on the back of the youth's calf. Rei, unbalanced from both the embarrassment and the touch on his lower leg, fell into the water with an audible "Ack!"

"Don't worry, I'll be here to catch you," was whispered into his ear. 

The Chinese boy opened his eyes from when he shut them at the impact with the water and looked up into Kai's face, just inches above his own. The bluenette had his arms wrapped around the smaller teen; their bodies pressed flush against each other. 

"W-why did you do that Kai?" Rei asked shakily, breathless from the rush and the feel of the other's skin; his head was cradled just in the juncture of Kai's neck and shoulder. 

"It's easier to get used to the water that way, quicker, too. That way, the temperature distributes evenly over your body, instead of just one area," Kai answered, untangling himself from Rei. 

Thinking back on it, Rei didn't feel as cold as he should have had; the feeling of another body pressed to his erased nearly all conscious thought. Kai was moving away from him, and, realizing this, Rei seized his hand, like a lifeline, before it could disappear out of his grasp. 

"Hey, where do you think you're going?"

__

Don't leave me; I don't want to drown. 

"You should learn how not to depend on other people." 

__

I won't; I don't want you to drown either. 

"I'll do that after I know how to keep myself afloat." 

__

Good, stay by my side, then, and help me.

"Hold on to my hand," said Kai, twining his fingers between Rei's and beginning to swim at a leisurely pace. "Let your body go, pretend that you're weightless and let the water push you to the surface —" 

"What if I'm too heavy?" Rei asked, anxious that Kai was moving so far ahead of him. 

The bluenette almost smiled. "It doesn't work that way. The water forces your body to float to the surface because of the oxygen inside of you, regardless of your body mass. Besides which, you weigh less than Takao and he hasn't drowned yet." 

Rei did as Kai instructed, laying on his back and relaxing the muscles in his legs and abdomen, and sure enough, the water supported his weight, though he had to put the rope of his hair on top of his chest. The Chinese teen smiled to himself, glad at his progress. It felt nice to feel the water moving against his body, oddly surreal, too. He closed his eyes, listening to the amplified sounds. They were disjointed, pulsing into his ears and reverberating through the rest of his body.

"Kick your legs." 

Rei blinked, awoken from a half dream. "What?" 

"Your legs, keep them straight and kick upward, use them to propel yourself," Kai called over his shoulder. 

And so, Rei kicked at the surface of the water. Maybe it was his inexperience, or the because of sheer momentum, but he kicked too hard and the water at his feet rose up with a splash, frothing as he continued. The small droplets even made it as far as the back of Kai's head, which was a great deal ahead. Kai, exhilarated and feeling oddly playful (if you're were familiar with either him or his playfulness, you'd run as it often tended to be deadly), he kicked at the water with more force, assaulting his charge with a small rainfall. Rei, in turned, kicked even harder.

Things went tumbling down from then on. Rei sprayed Kai, who sprayed him and was sprayed in return. Before long, it turned into a water fight, with both boys kicking and shovelling water at each other. Though they still held hands. Rei laughed when Kai moved too slowly to evade his attack. 

"Try as hard as you want, I'll come out victorious," the Chinese boy exclaimed laughingly. The comment reminded him of Takao and Maxie earlier that day, though he didn't dwell on that for too long. 

"Really?" Kai raised an eyebrow at his friend. "I had a different idea." 

Before Rei could realize what the bluenette was doing, Kai's entire body disappeared under the water. A tiny whimper of protest escaped the neko-jin's lips. 

"Kai, don't hide from me!" 

The other youth was nowhere to be found, only the crystal blue waters. Unwittingly, Rei tensed his muscles, beginning to thrash his arms and legs. Panicking, he realized that his lower half was no longer touching the surface of the water, so he kicked harder, hoping that the movement would give him some momentum. A strangled cry escaped his lips before he could stop it. And still, he could not see Kai anywhere.

"I'm not hiding: I'm hunting." 

Rei whirled at the warm breath just below his ear. Kai was smirking haughtily at the neko-jin, his hands snaking to the curve of his waist. Rei glared at Kai, flinging hair and water out of his eyes, no longer feeling the need to kick in order to keep himself afloat. The Chinese boy flushed madly when he felt the other's fingers brush against the skin just above the waistline. 

"You left me, you said you wouldn't," he said, narrowing his eyes with a pout. 

"I didn't; I was right behind you. I told you I wasn't going to let you drown, and I don't go back on promises," Kai answered, swimming to the edges of the pool, his friend still clinging to him.

"Then why didn't you help me when I was sinking?" Rei asked, a bit less bitingly. 

"I thought you looked comical," Kai replied with a shrug. 

"Well that wasn't very funny," the other said, scooping up water and flinging it at his friend's face. 

The expression on Kai's face – a crossbreed between startled, disgruntled and ready to kill, his hair matting his forehead and dripping occasionally – broke a barrier that was slowly building up in Rei's stomach since he woke up. Small quivers reverberated throughout his body, his shoulders shaking. Kai watched in amazement (and just a hint of worry) as Rei's face contorted into a smile and then a full-out laugh. 

The neko-jin threw his head back and closed his eyes, letting laugher bubble in his throat and escape from his lips. Kai watched, perplexed, as moisture gathered at the corners of Rei's eyes. The younger boy's face was flushed, the rosy accent on his cheeks highlighted by the cold clue of the water and the electric lights. His eyes were glistening, dancing and dark. The raven hair was beginning to dry and the longer tendrils on the sides were curling slightly.

Kai growled and frowned, deeper than he ever had, and let go of his friend (he made a mental stress on "friend")_. _Rei stopped laughing, hurt, and watched as the older boy climbed the metal ladder and stepped onto the tiles. Stiffly, he bent to pick up his fallen robe and after donning it headed for the kitchen doorway. 

"Where are you going, Kai?" Rei called out to him, feeling something pinch him from the inside. 

"It's late and I have to get up early for practice," the bluenette called over his shoulder, not looking at his friend. 

And so, the neko-jin was left alone in the large pool, clinging to the cold ladder and feeling his insides begin to be overcome with the same coolness. 

Hours later, it seemed, Kai was lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling, which reflected the pool's blue glow. He growled deeply in his throat and punched his pillow._' What's wrong with me? What had I been thinking?'_ he berated himself. _'For a moment back there, when the water sparkled in his hair and face, the droplets playing on the tip of his elfin nose and on his lips – I thought he was really beautiful. And for a moment, I thought I was really going to kiss him.'_

(tsuzuku...) 

* * * * * * * * 

(1) I love this poem; in fact, I very much like the poet, too. It's so sad that he died so young.... *sniff* 

That *twitch*twitch* turned out to be shorter than I expected.. 

christie: Aa... hehe... no I haven't mentioned Kai being an emotionless bastard in the previous chapters, it's the fight the two of them had before that *particular* chapter/ story... I'll touch a bit on that later, given that there is an appropriate challenge. Thankie for the review ^^

SeaGull: No problem at all! I've made the changes to the quotes, as you've suggested. Thank you very much; I know how translators tend to make such delicate phrases sound too formal. French is a very beautiful, flowing language. You live in la Marseillaise? Ooo, I wanna go there one of these days... Thanks for your review and I'll try to make this into a complete fic. 

Elbereth Gilthoniel: Ano... I know that some of the stories lack originality, but I seriously can't help it. At the ML, we're given like four days to write a fic on a particular topic, so I oftentimes don't have much room for compromise. Aa... this fic will – and does – concentrate on the emotional ties of Kai and Rei, but I'm tying in romance into that, too, so that factor will pop up. 

Radical Aisha: Thankies *hugs* I'll try to update as soon as possible, but that depends on the ML.

Soul Sister: Aa, that they are. That's why I love this pairing so much^^ They have so much chemistry together. 

Chibi Kitty: Hope that satisfied you for now; I'll write more once a new challenge is out. Thankie, here have a cookie *hands cookie*

AA-chan: Oof, thank you! Ano... the chapters go by random order (they're actually separate fics that I tied into one, but lets not mention that, shall we?) Though they do have some sense of time passing. Like it started out with June then moved over to July and August and now's going through September. It's seasonal. 

Wolfy girl: Thankies *blush* I promise to write more when the ML give out more challenges. Really really. 

Cyndaquil Babe: Ano... I don't really know how many chapters there'll be, in fact I have absolutely no idea where this fic is heading ^^;; I'm making it up as I go, so hopefully I'm not digging myself a grave with this. 

DranzerGirl: *blinkblink* You wasted ink on *that*?! Oi, thank you very much *gets teary-eyed* I'm very honoured. 

Shameless Plug (sort of): not to seem over confidant or anything, but I'm going to write another KaixRei fic soon. It's going to be schoolfic, and AU (and will focus quite a bit on art). If you have any suggestions, just things you'd like to read about, I'd always be glad to feature some, though I can't guarantee much...


	8. Save Me

A/N: I've noticed that this arch often takes place near or in the water; I really have no idea where that comes from, just a spur of the moment kind of thing...

* * * * * * * * 

****

Save me

;LP

The sheets were damp, clinging to his sweat dampened body, sticking to his back and to the insides of his thighs. He seized a fistful of the sodden material, twisting it in his grasp until he heard small tearing noises. There was heaviness on his chest, it hurt every time he tried to breathe, but he couldn't remove the obstacle because it wasn't real. The air itself was thick and palpable, choking and threatening; Rei wanted to gag but found his throat muscles clenching too tightly, the action would have been painful in any case. His eyes stung and he shut them tightly, biting on his lip, hard, and praying for the sensation to go away. 

__

'Oh, no, I don't need this now. Please, anything, any other time and place, just not now,' he mentally chanted, though the air continued to press on him with an ominous finality. And the images came unbidden, like they usually did in the dead of the night, as if burned into his retinas. 

You're nothing. 

You're pathetic. 

Why do you even bother when you know that in the end, no matter how hard you try and how hard you wish and hope and dream, nothing will ever change and you will forever be stuck in the cross point? 

Rei bit his lip even harder, until he felt the coppery taste of blood on his tongue, and tried to blink away the painful thought. The dream was still fresh on his mind, still vivid and life-like. The teen could still see the contempt in the cold eyes, could still hear the cruel words. He remembered not too long ago, when the heavens were pregnant with rain; his friend looked at him with the same cold eyes. 

Rei couldn't even recall how the argument started, only that he said something in an offhand manner, joking really, about a recent 'battle and then his captain's wrath exploded into his face. He had lost, and though guilt and a sense of uselessness gnawed on his stomach, he tried not to show it. Rei might have not been as emotionally impenetrable as Kai was but he still felt the sting of loss.

"You are worthless," Kai had said then, all but spitting out his name. Somehow Rei had fancied that the comment hurt more than it should have, and maybe that's why his heart stopped for just the briefest of moments."You're a liability to this team. You lost, therefore, you don't belong here."

"Well excuse me, Mr. Wonderful, but some people are not perfect. And as you might know, as imperfect as we are, people tend to make mistakes," Rei retorted, the words escaping from between clenched teeth. The Chinese boy hated to admit it, but Kai's jeering words hurt him so he wanted to repay his due. "It wouldn't pain you too much to descend from your cloud and join the rest of the people on earth." 

"It's ideologies like that that make people weak," the other returned coldly. "Weakness is not an option when you want greatness. So weakness should be eliminated at all cost then." 

"God, Kai, when will you stop being such an emotionless bastard and look around you?" Rei, by that point, was beyond seething; he had to clench his fists until his nails dug into his palms in order to keep himself from decking the Iceberg. "If you weren't so screwed over with victory and power, you'd be able to see that I'm – that everyone is trying their best. Sure we can't uphold to your superhuman standards, and sure we are not your dream team, but we perform to our best ability and that's what makes us so great together." 

Other hurtful things were said, though Rei didn't want to remember them. Everything was such a miserable blur; he even got the impression that his fist connected with the other's jaw._ 'No, no, no. Please get out of my head. I don't want this.' _

He clenched his teeth tightly. He never knew failure could taste so bitter; Kai had almost died that day. It was entirely his fault. 

Rei's dream, however, was different. Kai's words echoed balefully, tauntingly almost._ 'I don't want you. You're pitiful. I hate you,'_ the phantasm said, smirking haughtily and tilting its head slightly to the side. And then there was blood on Rei's hands and filling his mouth. The youth thought it was his but then Kai was lying in his arms, tugging at his collar, still smiling cruelly. _'You idiot,'_ it hissed and Rei could see bright blood trickling from the corner of those lips, _'you killed me. You FUCKING killed me! How stupid can you get? How could you ever hope that I would love you? I fucking hate you!' _

And then everything went painfully dark and Rei felt the limp body in his arms go incredibly cold before shrivelling into nothingness. And Rei was left alone, holding onto empty air and spiteful words still ringing in his ears. 

Presently, Rei opened his eyes, as much as they stung, and looked at the pebbled ceiling. When he shut his eyes, the dream would come back to him, but when his eyes were open, he could only hear the words. In any case, it was less painful when he didn't have to see the bloodied smile. His chest constricted in acute pain, which travelled spasmodically to his joints. Rei sucked in a sharp breath, choking on the bitter ball in his throat. 

__

'God, he hates me,' the neko-jin thought, _'I've done everything I could to get his trust and he hates me. I wanted so badly for him to open up to me and I've gone and screwed up and made him hate me. Just a couple of day ago, I was having so much fun with him in the pool and I know that he was having fun, too, but then he must have realized that he was wasting his precious time on me and left. And I really wanted him to kiss me.' _

Another choke and Rei got a sudden urge to weep. _'Why am I such a screw up? Why do I always have to say the stupidest things? Why can't I just stop this – this feeling?' _

He turned to his side, curling into a little ball, and bit into the pillow to muffle his sobs. And the air continued pressing down on him heavily, while the quiet of the room was punctuated by his own mewls and the soft breathing coming from the bed a few feet away from his. 

* * * * * * * *

Kai woke up to muffled whimpers. He knew instantly that it came from his Chinese friend, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't, not without injuring the other's pride. He knew that Rei didn't want his pity, didn't want him to know that he was so broken. Besides, what would Kai do? Ask his friend whether he was all right and then assure him that he was? No, he couldn't do that; it would hurt even more. 

He tried to shut off the small sounds, to pretend that the boy on the other bed was just dreaming, which he could very well have been. But then he heard Rei choke on a sob and that made matters much more difficult to ignore. With every broken intake of breath and every little whimper Kai's heart – yes, he did have one, no matter how frozen – clenched and he found himself struggling to breathe. 

He couldn't ignore this now, not like he usually did. "Rei," he whispered hoarsely, turning to look at the small shape on the other bed. The Chinese boy stiffened, as if in fear. Kai bit the inside of his cheek; maybe he had done something wrong? 

"Stop pretending, I know you're awake," he said louder, forcing coolness into his voice. "Rei?"

"H-hai?" The neko-jin managed brokenly, at which Kai had to steel his resolve. 

"Come here," he said authoritatively. 

"W-why?" Rei peeked at his captain warily from underneath the covers. 

"Because I said so," Kai ground out irritably, propping himself up. 

__

'Oh, no,' thought Rei, _'I've made him angry again.'_ Feeling childish and small, the younger boy crawled out of his bed and walked to Kai's, his head hanging as if he was charged with treason. He didn't know what Kai wanted from him, but it most likely wasn't a nighttime chat. The two of them had barely exchanged pleasantries in the week or so since the pool incident._ 'Please, I don't want him to hate me even more. I don't want to be hurt again.' _

The Chinese boy kept his eyes on the floor so he only heard Kai shifting on the bed but didn't see the blanket lift up in welcome. He suddenly wished his eyes weren't as puffy. 

"Climb in," Kai said with a grunt. In all honesty, he had absolutely no idea what was doing but there had been an ache inside his chest when he saw Rei cowering away from him like a frightened kitten and he wanted to swart that twinge. He heard from somewhere (most likely Kenny) that it helped to be near someone you trusted after a nightmare. 

Uncertainly, Rei clambered onto the bed, immediately trying to shrink into the mattress. Kai frowned, stung, and turned harshly away; he was just trying to comfort his friend. "Now sleep," he grunted coolly. 

Rei curled into a foetal position and moved closer to the edge of the bed; he didn't want to disturb his captain. Kai tried to tell himself that his friend had finally calmed down, but the occasional tremor from the neko-jin stated otherwise. The silence was almost painful, and he got the impression that Rei was purposely trying to still his breathing. Kai could feel his own heart pulsing through his body, vibrating into his ears. He hated this; he didn't want to feel this awkward with his friend. 

"K-Kai?" The voice was quiet and subdued, accented by soft intakes of breath. The boy in question feigned sleep, but maybe that was for the best because Rei didn't want Kai to hear him. "I'm sorry for never being good enough. I know that I can never reach up to your standards, and I also know that you will never look at me like an equal; I'm sorry for that, too. I'm sorry for ever losing and for being such a lousy beyblader. I'm sorry for yelling at you like I did that one time, and for calling you those names. I'm sorry for being so stupid and for wanting to be safe and for wanting this with you. I'm sorry I've ever made you hate me, I just wanted for you to l–" 

"Will you just shut up?" Kai drawled in bitterly, not turning to face the other boy. His throat felt tight but he quenched the unfamiliar urge rising in his chest. "I never looked down at you, I can't. I didn't mean what I said that time. You're a great 'blader, the best I've ever seen; you might even be better than me. And if my memory serves me right, I yelled at you, too – we both said some stupid things." 

He paused, letting the words sink in. Kai knew that Rei was startled, maybe he even believed him when he pretended to be asleep. He swallowed before continuing (why was there a knot in his throat when there never was before?); "I don't hate you – I could never do that, you should know by now. And the last time I checked, there is nothing wrong or stupid about seeking protection. It's a part of human psyche, isn't it?" 

Rei mewled softly and before the sound could fully register with Kai, the neko-jin's hand sneaked over his back to settle on the slight curve of his waist. There the hand remained, too warm for his liking, the delicate digits grazing shyly over his bare skin (he almost always slept in his boxers; there was something about silk against flesh). Next, Rei pressed his face to the juncture of Kai's shoulder and neck. In turn, Kai shivered when he felt the other's warm breath brush tentatively over his skin; he forced back another shudder when he fancied he felt soft lips grazing the same spot (_oh, _**Gawd!**). 

"Oh, Kai," Rei whispered (and here the bluenette stifled another shiver), "you should have told me you weren't asleep, then I wouldn't have said all those things?" 

"Exactly." 

"I really thought you hated me," another feathery caress. 

"Why would I? You've never done anything wrong?" Kai felt delirious, dizzy, insane or all at the same time. Why did the other have to be so close? Gawd, Rei's eyelashes tickled him when he blinked. 

"I thought you were disgusted with me."

"No." 

Rei swallowed deeply, there was something incredibly warm and nice and fuzzy building up in his stomach. "...So you won't ever push me away?" 

"Never," Kai replied gutturally. "Are we done with this yet? Are you now satisfied? Because if you are, then I suggest you shut up and go to sleep."

Rei chuckled lightly, nuzzling the other's skin with his nose. "Hai, Captain my Captain." 

* * * * * * * * 

When Kai woke up do dusty light filtering through the window, he felt oddly warm. He'd waken up many times to cold floor and biting stings in his side, to aches and pains throughout his body. He'd even woken up to blinding light and the barrel of a gun barely touching his Adam's apple. But he had never in his life woken up to a feeling of warmth this serene. 

Strong, lean (and very bare) legs were twined with his own; he fought down little moan when the legs shifted to brush against the insides of his thighs. A wall of warmth was pressed against his side, silky hair tickling his neck. (Despite himself, a sense of dread settled in his stomach; what had he done the previous night, and with whom?) Blinking dazedly, he looked down at the person curled into his side. 

He had to blink several times in order to fully comprehend the scene. Rei was spooned into his side; one hand was curled into a loose fist the other grazing over his abdomen. The boy's head was tucked under his chin, where the soft hairs seemed to frizz. He really did look like a kitten curled up like that, of not slightly cherubic. Kai had to take many deep breaths in order to bring some semblance of order into his head. The two of them were barely clothed and in a position that would surely raise some eyebrows. 

Then he remembered the things they both said last night and he no longer felt like shrugging the other boy off. Gazing at him now, Kai was fascinated by the soft flush on Rei's cheeks. The Chinese boy always tied his hair into a braid at night (he said it was more comfortable to sleep on) but now a few stray strands escaped their hold and felt into his eyes and across his lips. 

Tenderly (very much unlike himself), Kai brushed the hairs away, letting his fingers linger on the lips for more than was reasonably allowed. The skin was soft, like silk. 

"I've promised you so many things already," he whispered, though he might as well have not said anything at all. "I don't even know if I can keep them all. But last night you said you wanted me to protect you. So this time, if for once only and when you can't even hear me, let me promise you this: I will save you. I know it doesn't mean anything and I know that I'll most likely end up forgetting about this, but I promise you that when you lose your wings and fall from grace, I will be there to save you." 

Kai settled back into his place beside Rei and closed his eyes. It was probably too early to practice anyway and he didn't want to leave this warmth yet. He'd never felt like this before and he knew that it would not last, so he wanted to savour the moment while he still had it. 

(tsuzuku...)

* * * * * * * * 

That should have ended with a kiss, shouldn't it have? Hehe.... Too bad! I've missed the 'first kiss challenge' so I can't use it ^^ I'm sorry, I didn't mean for Rei to seem like such an uke... Shelly -(err)- san, now do you see what I meant? I seriously have to check on those naughty thoughts ^____^ 


	9. Serendipity

A/N: I'm *back* (made a great fool out of myself, and in front of Midorikawa Hikaru *ear-splitting squeal* and two hundred or so people, nonetheless) but I'm back and my fingers are itchin' to get writin' ^___^

* * * * * * * * 

****

Serendipity 

[_I found a star, lonely and abandoned. I touched it, kissed it softly and brought it close to my heart. It smiled at me, warmly, and then I knew that I found you... and the world didn't seem as cruel anymore. _]

Kai couldn't understand when things got so out of hand. One moment he was on the top of the world, riding the wave to Beyblade stardom, not caring what people thought of him. He was cold then, in control. And now – he shook his head almost ruefully – things changed. Before he could quite realize it, Rei was cracking him open, letting himself in like that was where he belonged. And Kai let him, though unknowingly. 

And then he found that he couldn't function without that – now familiar – presence. He would be walking into a stadium and expect Rei to be walking next to him, talking almost animatedly about nothing in particular, though he wouldn't join in the conversation. In fact, he sought out those moments because, to him, they solidified something – a bond, perhaps. At other times, he would look forward to having the Chinese boy next to him, drinking in the same air and sharing the same bubble of warmth; talk wasn't included in those moments – conversations were just pretentious little things that people amused themselves with – and the two of them would just _be._

And then there were instances when Kai wanted Rei's presence, warmth, closer. Like that time he woke up with Rei curled into his side, head tucked underneath his chin and purring softly. He, shamefully, found himself wishing that the other boy would snuggle up to him and he would run his hands through silky – and he knew this from close and personal experience – ebony locks. And Rei would softly purr out his name. That was another thing; from Rei, his name sounded like a prayer, soft and endearing, when before it always reminded him of hardships.

And then he would also notice how Rei would walk or move his hands or talk. Rei had an almost ethereal quality to him. When he walked, he would step first with his toe and the soft pad on the sole of the foot before rolling to the heel; it was a precise and meticulous movement, graceful like a cat's or a dancer's. When he laughed, Rei's eyes would close partially until his golden orbs became dark slits, his mouth would part – a little dimple in the corner would show when it was a true laugh – and then sound would escape those lips. There were also times when Kai caught Rei with a sad, pensive smile. His eyes would go dark and misty and his lips would curl just slightly, like he didn't have the energy nor will to make it curve into a full smile. 

Of course, Kai would never admit that he knew exactly how an angry flush would spread along Rei's cheeks and tips of ears, or how his voice pitched just an ample when he was furious but refused to admit it. No, those things Kai learned from long, furtive observations of his friend and like most secret things, that should never see the light of day. Besides, he doubted that Rei would appreciate being watched as closely as he was; Rei preferred to keep himself a closed shell, a smiling, laughing, but indiscernible shell. 

He would look at the neko-jin sometimes and think to himself that Rei was 'more,' more of what he couldn't quite determine. Perhaps more than he could fathom (for Rei hid a lot of secrets behind his masks) or more than he could handle, or even more beautiful than he gave him credit. Since that time when Kai woke up with Rei in his arms, curled like a kitten with his hair falling wildly about his face, he couldn't help but think him beautiful. Not a fake, ostentatious beauty, but one that glowed and gave the person a god-like quality. 

Rei was slowly deciphering him, bit by bit. Kai didn't even know whether that was a good thing or not. Everything changed so much and so quickly; a chance occurrence amongst endless possibilities. 

And so Kai, finding himself unable to say 'no' when he could before, followed Rei through the throng of busy people. 

"Ne, Kai, you could make the effort to at least look as if you're enjoying it," Rei said laughingly, tugging on Kai's hand. 

"Hn." 

"C'mon, I don't want to miss anything!" 

Kai growled deeply in his throat but followed obligingly. He felt odd being surrounded by a mass of kimono and yukata-wearing people, though he grew up among the same atmosphere. The team returned to Japan on the insistence of Mr. Dickinson, who said that they'd forget their roots with the amount of time they spent abroad. 

That morning, not five minutes after his routine shower, there was a knock on his apartment door and after he grudgingly opened it, Rei virtually flounced in. He had a goofy smile on his face that hid his nervousness quite well, though Kai could read through the façade, and was bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

Kai grunted at him to get the business over and done with; he wasn't a morning person to begin with, and bouncy neko-jins did nothing to liven his mood. (Besides which, Kai wasn't sure where his thoughts would lead when they were set astray, he didn't even trust his own instincts anymore.)

"There's a festival today," Rei announced with a large grin. "The Nagasaki annual Kunchi festival." 

"Hn." Kai wasn't feeling very communicative. 

"Come with me?" The bluenette had to quench the urge to tear at his hair; the barely veiled plea in those eyes was almost painful to witness. 

"No. I need to train." 

"Screw training," Rei said with a little huff. "That's all you've been talking about since this whole ordeal began. One would think that you have nothing on your mind besides beyblades and victories –" 

"What else should I have on my mind?" His voice was biting, he knew, but he was feeling defensive; Rei could _see_ him, could unravel everything and Kai didn't want that.

"Like normal things for a change. Fun." 

"I don't have time for fun." 

"Then if not for fun, then for me." Kai felt a funny churning sensation in the pit of his stomach. "I've never been to a traditional Japanese festival, and I want to go while I still have time. I heard that this particular festival draws its roots from China. There will even be a Dragon Dance. Please?" 

"Take Takao or Max with you." 

"They're busy with their own things. Besides, I want to go with you." 

The bluenette glared at his friend and then, finding no fault with the dark-haired boy, turned his glare at the floor. With a few simple words, his resolve melted."I refuse to wear a kimono." Kai thought that the Chinese boy would pounce or glomp him then, but instead Rei broke out into a soft smile, a small dimple showing at the corner of his mouth. 

And so the two of them took the train to Nagasaki, arriving there with the onset of dusk. True to his word, Kai didn't wear a kimono, opting instead for a black shirt and pants. Rei, however, magically came up with a dark blue yukata with a golden plum blossom design [1], wearing his hair in a braid instead of its usual bind. 

Kai glanced around him. There were hundreds, thousands of lights surrounding him, suspended from trees, floating on little platforms in the pond or stacked in rows along the roofs. There were many other people about, some dressed in similar fashion to Rei others preferring the 'casual' look (Kai chose to go with 'anonymity' ensemble), browsing through various entertainment stalls. 

"Kai, look!" Rei tugged on his hand again, pointing excitedly to a booth selling sweets. 

The bluenette suppressed a little smile. Rei didn't always behave his age and that made him look so very childlike. At times like these, Kai could observe him without being afraid of ridicule. Currently, Rei was bouncing on his heals, greedily scanning the assortment of sweets, pointing to a few he never tried before.

"I'll take one of these," Kai said to the vendor, gesturing to one particular sweet, handing over 1000 yen. 

"Here," he said, giving the candy to Rei. 

The Chinese boy took the offered sweet, smelling the shiny wrapper for any indication of its nature. "What is it?" 

"It's ringo-ame," he answered with a sigh though a smile was slowly breaking loose. Rei was a closet sugar-lover. "They're apples dipped in syrup and glazed with various sugars."

Kai felt a certain warmth slither along his skin when Rei hugged him briefly, breathing a soft 'thank you' before digging into his present. Kai had to avert his eyes when his friend stuck out his pink tongue and began licking the sugar-glazed apple. 

The rest of the evening passed in similar fashion; Kai didn't have much patience for such simple things, they made him feel strange, normal almost. The two of them wandered along the lights and laughter, Rei occasionally pointing to something and Kai forking out his wallet. During the infamous Dragon Dance, when they were standing among the crowd and watching the brightly dressed dancers, Rei was laughing and clapping along with the rest of the people, moving his hips to the beat of the drums. (Kai felt something *twist* in his stomach.)

Later, when the mass of people began to dissipate, the two of them meandered to a little hillock surrounded by trees and the sky scattered with stars. 

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Rei asked quietly, rearranging his yukata about him, tracing the patterns with the pad of his forefinger. 

"Hn," Kai grunted in response, looking at the sky. "As I said, I don't have much appreciation for such frivolous things." 

The soft smile that used play on Rei's lips fell slightly. "How can you be so cold?"

Kai shrugged. It wasn't something he chose to do, but, rather, a defence mechanism of sorts. People couldn't get close to you when they knew that you'd give them the cold shoulder – this of course only applied to most of the Earth's population, Rei was an exception. People couldn't hurt you when they couldn't get to you. Rei just had a different way of warding people off. He had his masks. 

The stars above twinkled teasingly down at him. "Do you know why that little star there, just to the right of the Big Dipper, is so small?" He asked, pointing to the said star. 

Rei quirked a brow a him but shook his head 'no'. Kai lay down on his back, still looking at the celestials. Soon, Rei joined him. 

"That little star used to be big and bright, more luminous than any other star in the Kingdom of the Sky," Kai began. "It used to be the best and most favourite amongst all the stars. The Queen of the Sky, the moon, used to hold grand balls, one per day. The little star would attend those balls; it would dance along to the heavenly music and at those moments it would shine the brightest. But, you see, the little star was lonely, for even though it was the most favourite among the Nightly Court, he had nothing to share that glory with. 

And then at one of the queen's balls, completely by chance he met another star, which was as lonely as he was. The star smiled at him, warmly. The two of them became friends, the best of friends. They would confide in each other, share each other's secrets and fears; with each day, the star grew brighter. And before long, the little star realized that he wasn't so lonely anymore and that he was hopelessly infatuated with his best friend. At the same time, he knew that his friend would never share his feelings, because you see, it was forbidden for stars to love. 

One night, during the ball, the little star took his friend aside and kissed him softly, knowing that it was considered a sin to do something like that but unable to stop himself. The queen saw this treachery and took the little star's friend from him, condemning him to shame. Soon, he lost his shine and just glowed sadly because he could never see his friend again. He stopped coming to balls and became cold; he was afraid that something like that would happen again and he didn't want to get hurt. And so, now he is cold and miserable and alone, looking down on people who are happy and smiling sadly. Or so the story goes." 

Kai let his voice die along with the autumn breeze; he didn't even notice when he stopped addressing the star as 'it' and called it 'he'. 

"Really?" Breathed Rei beside him, looking at his profile. 

The bluenette snorted. "No. I made that up." 

Rei huffed indignantly beside him. "Meanie. Did you realize that in the past five minutes you said more than you probably have during sixteen years of your life?" 

"Aa." Kai said in reply. He didn't really care at that moment. 

Rei shrugged and glanced to the silhouette of the trees, where he saw a flicker of movement. He could make out a couple standing underneath the canopy of trees, a thousand little lights suspended above them. The girl – petit and dark-haired – had her arms tightly wound around her boyfriend's neck, who in turn wrapped his arms around her small frame. Her head was tucked underneath the guy's chin, a serene smile playing along her lips. The two were standing like that for a good portion of a half an hour, tightly embraced in each other – he noticed them long before. With a little pang, Rei noted that he wanted the same. He wanted to be able to hold someone that close in a soft huggle until he became oblivious to the rest of the world but that person. 

The guy bent his head slightly to plant a soft kiss on the girl's forehead. There was a knot in Rei's throat. He wanted to be held, and hugged and kissed, too. He wanted to wake up cuddled against a familiar warmth instead of his cool sheets. He wanted to have someone else's scent on the pillow next to his; he wanted to open his eyes to butterfly kisses. He wanted what that couple shared underneath the canopy, bathed in their lovely glow. 

"Kai?" He breathed out softly. 

"Hm?" Kai didn't raise his head.

"Can..." He faltered, feeling his voice becoming smaller with every syllable "... can I kiss you...?" 

(tsuzuku...?)

* * * * * * * * 

[1] Hehe... the characters fore Rei's name mean "Golden Plum"; there you go, some irony from me. 

*big grin* ^_________________^ You wanna kill me now, don't you? It's too bad that I won't be able to write the next chapter from where this scenario left off. *bashes head against desktop* Gawd, I'm such a dork (in more than one respect) *mutters* ...no plot what-so-ever; OOCs abound; stupid conversations; too little angst... have to save that for other fics... Gah! Kill me now!


	10. Fallen

A/N: Hmm... Thankies very much to everyone who'd reviewed the story up to this point. Truthfully, I really, really hate this fic. It's too sappy, tooth-achingly so. I tried to put angst in it, I truly did, but my attempts floundered. And so, I'd like to announce that I'll wrap this story up in one or two more chapters. Later, I might also add on little vignettes, like 'Cooking with Kai' and so on, but that'll depend. 

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Falling

~Rei's POV~

You know what's stupid? Love. Oh, yeah, you heard me right. Love is the stupidest thing one can have happen to him. Love is the most idiotic emotion known to mankind. It makes you do ridiculous things, think weird thoughts and just act so out of character. Every word said to you takes on a double meaning, even if it was meant to be plain. You can't help but ask yourself and wonder and hope whether 'how are you?' is really something more, like 'I've missed you' or 'I can't be without you'. And then your heart swells and your innards become pure mush. That ball crawls up your throat and, annoyingly, stays there until you can barely say anything comprehensible. 

I look at Max and Takao. The two of them are sprawled on the couch, animatedly watching some show. Max's leg dangles off the side of the sofa while the rest of him is pressed into Takao's side. The latter has his arm wrapped around the former's slender waist, gently stoking the blond tresses. My stomach muscles clench and I have to literally force my gaze away. The envy claws its way up my spine, gleefully. And I hate myself for it. They were – are, I remind myself with a mental frown– my friends, and the last time I checked, friends did not feel resentment toward each other. 

And still, I see the two of them, molten into each other, basking in a warm glow just for them. And still, the envy tightens its claws around my bawls. I want what they have. I want that warmth, I want that security. I had glimpses of it, scattered, secret peeks at what could have been. But those weren't enough.

Like not too long ago when I pretended to be asleep, but really wasn't. That time, when I had the nightmare about Kai and I and said all those things... I heard his promise, he didn't know but I'm not about to tell him; I still hear it whenever I close my eyes. I makes my heart swell, painfully. I can still remember the feel of his body pressed against mine, I can still feel his skin on my own; I feel him softly touching my hair – as if he'd been waiting to do that for a long time – and his warm breath tickling my nape. That time comes back to taunt me, as if to say what once was will never be the same again. I go to sleep every night wishing to wake up in his arms again...

I wake up to cold sheets and another tight ball in my stomach. 

Shaking my head to clear it from the less than welcome thoughts, I tighten my grasp on Drigger and stalk outside of Takao's dojo. It's no use to brood about things that can't be helped. It wouldn't do me good to dwell too much on something like that. Yeah, I tell myself, no good at all. 

Outside, the sun is shining, bathing the little garden in light. I try to smile because I've always enjoyed feeling of sunshine on my face, but the smile is half-hearted; it cracks, a fine line just on the corner of my mask, and then it breaks off completely. It feels strange, like I'm naked, but I doubt I could've pulled off a lie that well. 

I fear a faint whirring noise to my side and turn to see the Chief crouched in front of a miniature bey dish, Dizzy spread on his lap. He says some things to the gadget but I can't hear. Whatever it is he's doing, it looks like something important, something that could take my mind off of things. 

"Hi, Chief," I manage brightly. I have to cringe at my voice, it sounds so fake. Kenny doesn't notice the difference and spares me a brief glance. 

"Hey, Rei." 

"What've you been up to?" I ask; I feel like making conversation, simply for conversation sakes. 

"Oh, this?" He questions, pointing to the array of scattered blade parts in front of him. "Dizzy and I have been trying to modify the defence gear to better suit different environments. I hypothesize that increasing the amount of lead in the metal of the gear will make is tougher and heavier. If the blade were heavier than it would be easier for it to stay in the dish and harder for it to leave it. Though I suppose –" 

I don't really listen to him, though I get the gist of what he's trying to say. I don't mean to sound rude, but one tends to tune Kenny out after a while; he just rumbles about something or other in what seems like a different language. Sometimes I wonder whether there is a special dictionary made especially for computer guys like him. 

"You're not listening to me Rei." His voice reaches me and I nod dazedly. 

"See." He confirms with a little smirk. "You have no idea what I said." 

So he's caught on; I feel almost bad but his grin takes care of it. "Sorry, Chief." I say apologetically. 

"No biggie." He shrugs and types something into his computer. I notice that a little frown stretch his lips. After a while, he says, "You've been off lately." 

I shrug and glance at the grass beneath my feet. I've been feeling so down lately, the greenness of the blades offsets my vision. Or so I'd like to think. Yeah, the colour is too bright so my eyes feel dry. I don't know if I believe myself. 

"Is it about Kai?" Chief asks and I can hear worry and pity in his voice. I hate pity. 

I shrug again. I think I'm afraid that if I open my mouth everything will come spewing out. I don't want to worry him – or the rest – with something so small. 

"It is, isn't it?" It's not really a question, more like a confirmation of what was already known. 

__

It is, I want to answer but I manage a nod instead. I run a hand over the grass, the blades tickle my palm where they touch. It's always about Kai, I think darkly. Everything I do always brings me to him, it seems as if I unwillingly gravitate toward him, no matter how far he pushes me away. 

It's been nearly two weeks since the incident at the festival, and I still can't believe those words left my mouth. _'Can I kiss you?'_ I asked him, stupidly. Kami-sama, sometimes I wonder whether I have all my brains intact. For a while back there, lying on that hill, surrounded by the globe of the velvet night and tasting magic for the first time... I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted to see what it would feel like, I've wanting to do that for a long while now. I know it's stupid to think that way, to want something that simple, but my reason took a back seat then. 

I remember feeling a nervous thrill run across my arms, my heart weighing down, and watching his profile lit by the stars. I don't think I had enough willpower to breathe then, but then I realized that Kai wasn't going to say anything. He mightn't have heard me at all, and that's what I prayed for. After a while, he looked at me as if for a first time in centuries or if just woken up. He didn't say anything, I didn't think I could either – my heart was jammed up my throat. We just left the festival and headed home, in silence. 

That, I think, was more painful than anything else because I've been trying so hard to unsheathe him from that diamond-covered shell he hid himself in and he was reverting back to that state. I wanted for him to say something, I wanted to say something myself but couldn't because his face was hard and closed and I've learned not to corner him when he's like that. And so the silence stretched. I feel it still there, that awkward, pulsing_ something_. We haven't talked at all since then, only occasional "morning" and "goodbye" between us. 

It really stung. The ball in my chest tightens and I feel an impulse to grip at my heart. Instead, I seize a fistful of grass into my hand, digging my nails into my palm. 

"You need to do something, Rei," I hear Chief say worriedly, "it's tearing you apart." 

"What_ can_ I do?" I ask him. I know it's cruel of me to be asking something like that, but I feel the tension too strongly now. 

"That's for you to figure out." 

I nod, not really wanting to think much about his comment. 

"I know it must be hard." He says, looking away. 

__

Hard? I want to snarl. It _hurts. _I feel as if somebody – Kai, in this instance – had thrust their hand into my insides, twisted them and then pulled them out so they could dry of all their fluid and then stuck all the gooey mass back in. I feel... not whole, half-empty. It's especially difficult when I remember all those times when I thought the two of us were having fun. I remember how the corner of his mouth would twitch up just so, and it would be a cross between a smile and haughty smirk and then he'd extend his hand to me, palm up, because I stumbled and fell while window-shopping. I'd remember his warmth, too, and then I'd feel like crying. He really was warm, despite being a walking-talking icicle.

Sometimes in the bey stadium I'd find myself shifting toward him, because that's what I would usually do and old habits die hard, but he would spare a cold look at me and I would want to shrivel into my clothes. It pains me to know that he's avoiding me; we don't share a room any more, like we usually do and he never sees me outside of practice. And there are times when I catch him when he doesn't want to be caught. A couple of days ago, for instance, I caught him as he was leaving the shower. I couldn't breathe or think. And then he glared at me from beneath dripping blue locks; I'd never thought I'd see a real sex-god before he came along. It hurts me to know that I can't touch him like I want to. 

"Hai." I say in reply. 

"It's eating you alive, I can tell." Kenny says. "You haven't eaten a proper meal since this whole ordeal began. You've been so quiet and jumpy lately, and so very, very distant. I can't even tell if you'd explode the next moment or not." 

"You don't understand Chief," I retort harshly and instantly regret it. "Friends do not have non-platonic feelings for their friends." 

"Then what are Takao and Max?" He asks with a little smile. "I've seen them make googly eyes at each other thousands of times before. It's a wonder how the two of them remain so dense while the attraction is so obvious. Surely you don't suggest that their relationship is completely on friend-friend basis." 

"I asked if I could kiss him, Chief," I say exasperatedly and tug at the rope of my hair.

I can feel more than see Kenny's brows rise up but his face remains neutral. "So?" He questions. 

"So? Chief, this is Kai we're talking about, Iceman, the one and only Untouchable Boy," I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "How do you think he took it? He abhors any and all kinds of affection. And what is he bound to think if it came from his teammate? Heck, for all I know, he's a homophobe." 

"No." I see the younger boy shake his head. "I don't think that's the case. If it was, I'd doubt either you or the two in the dojo would be a part of this team for this long. I think he just needs some time to clear his head." 

The point could make sense, giving the unusual nature of my request. I snort anyway. If Kai needed some time to think, he had more than enough._ I_ had more than enough. I don't think I can go on another day to see his back turned to me or the scorn in his eyes. Kami-sama, why does it have to hurt so much? 

"Give him some freedom, Rei." The Chief says, laying a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You know how he takes to such things, he needs time to adjust. Kai's more moody than you are right now. Just... let him be for a while, and see how things go. If everything doesn't turn out the way you want it to, we can sic Takao on him." 

I grin; Takao's been trying to get on Kai's case since forever now. "Sure, sure," I reply, not wanting to argue the point farther. 

"Now go, your glumness disrupts my working aura." He says dismissively, waving a hand to shoo me. 

"Hai, hai." A smile breaks loose for the first time today and suddenly the sun doesn't seem as dull anymore. 

I wander to a little secluded area, where a lonesome bench stands by a bush of roses. I sit on it, not minding that I'd most likely have stains on my white robe. I pick a rose closest to me, careful not to prick myself on its thorn. I wonder for a moment how Takao's grandfather managed to grow some so late in the year. The little alcove is surrounded by cheery and apple trees. The leaves are withered, tinted orange and red. The roses, however, are in full bloom, lush and brilliant. 

I smile ruefully at the rose in my hand. It's a beaming yellow with the edges tinged with soft pink. Red for love. Yellow for friendship. I find it somehow ironic how even the flowers are pointing toward this relationship between him and me. By the rate I'm going, I sincerely doubt there will be anything romantic in nature between the two of us. 

I bring the bloom to my nose and take a whiff. It smells of nature and beauty and just a little bit of honey. I pluck a delicate petal, careful not to mar it. So small this little petal, so insignificant, I think, yet it could be so beautiful when joined with the others of its kind. I bring the little petal to my cheek, gently brushing it against my skin. It's very soft and silky; somehow, I always thought that Kai's lips would feel that way, too. 

The knot twists again, painfully, and I accidentally let go of the petal. It falls to the ground, there to join others of its kind. I watch it amongst the grass and other leaves. It stands out, like a single beautiful star amongst a million others. I'm instantly remind of the story Kai told me before I... The ball tightens again, painful. 

"Rei...?" 

I hear my name whispered softly. I know it's him and I don't want to. He hadn't said my name for such a long time, I missed hearing it from his mouth; it sounds like a prayer, almost. My stomach is jittery, a maw-like hole. My throat is parched, and my legs feel like jell-o. I think I'm terrified. Kami-sama, I think, help me. 

I lift my head to look at him. 

He raises an inquisitive brow at the flower in my hands but doesn't question it. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and gives me a hard look. "Do you still want to kiss me?" He asks coldly. 

My throat refuses to work; all I can do is to look up at him and see myself mirrored in his eyes. I think I'm dying. I might already be dead. 

I don't notice that the rose falls from my hands and onto the ground, where it breaks and the dozens of yellow petals spread sea-like. 

I nod dumbly, all the while knowing that I probably have the dopiest grin on my face. 

"Good," he says in his husky, sexy voice, "because I'm ready for that kiss now." 

(tsuzuku...?)

* * * * * * * * 

Interesting thing, this particular installation was based on a dream I recently had. I was Rei =D Though, unlike you, I got to see the full version *and* kiss Kai ^_____^ a *lot* (I never thought I'd see a more beautiful sight)


	11. Without Your Breath

A/N: I'm really, really, really sorry for the lateness of this part but I had a lot of.... problems. At least you finally get your kiss ^__^ and conclusion. I have exams coming up next week and though I know I should be studying, I won't, never do (and oddly enough, I never get bellow 80% on them -_-) So hopefully I can manage to come up with another fic... hopefully is really the key word here. 

Oh, and WARNING: this is a bit limish....

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Without Your Breath

~Kai's POV~

As I look at him, a strange half-smile or half-smirk tugging on his lips, I know that he's feeling the same thing I am. There is something huge and monstrous in my stomach and I feel just a little bit sick from dizziness and anxiousness. I feel the air rush into my lungs and out, but it's a sort of involuntary reaction, more visceral than real. Dimly, at the back of my head, I wonder whether _he_ could feel my heart pounding and hear the blood churning in my veins. 

I truly don't know how things got carried away so far. At one point we were both independent variables in a very simple equation. He existed and I existed, I didn't need him to exist, parallel-y he didn't need me. We just... were. I would get up in the mornings, take my scheduled shower and breakfast, train and sleep to wake up the next morning to the same routine. I never bothered paying much attention to anything outside of beyblading – nothing else truly mattered. After all, what use do I have with things that can give me nothing, not even external pleasure? He was just a part of that little bubble-world that was around beyblading, never truly mattering one way or another, never sparing me with anything other than fleeting glances. And then he looked back for longer than usual and caught my eye and everything changed. And I stopped, looked at him and felt my world stumble and slowly fall to pieces. 

There was – is – no more straight way for me, no simple 'victory of defeat'. No, now there is also all these extra things intruding into my world – people and things, and emotions and feelings. And everything is just so overwhelming. Rei had become another variable and somehow joined my equation, which beforehand consisted only of myself and battling. He became a very important variable. I find myself wishing his presence when he's not there, imagining him if he was. I look – with a painful amount of anticipation – forward to a fleeting, accidental touch or a glance he has a tendency to steal when he thinks no one notices. And when I would feel his glance, even if not answering, this great _something_ would swell up inside my chest and I'd find my world shrinking to exclude everything but the two of us. 

And this is what's happening right now. My world gets dimmer and dimmer, shrivels up in on itself until only he and I remain. 

"Good," I say, "because I'm ready for that kiss now." I'm surprised my voice sounds steady and confident when in truth there is something leaping at my throat. I don't want to admit but I know I'm nervous. A tiny bead of sweat trickles down the back of my neck. 

He grins crookedly up at me and I know that he's as nervous as I am. 

"Hai," he replies hesitantly, almost shyly. 

I just stand there, looking at him looking at me. Neither of us moves of inch. For a moment I wonder whether it is too late to run, to pretend that nothing ever changed in my ordered little world, that he didn't come and disrupted anything. I'm terrified and I don't want to admit it. 

I don't know what to do, where to step, where to touch. I've never kissed anyone before; I never felt the desire for such inane human things. But then he asked if he could kiss me, which meant that he wanted it, and frighteningly enough, I found myself wanting him to do it. 

"I-I've never done this with another guy before." I hear him say.

"Nether have I." I make no attempt to mention that I've never done this, period. 

"God, Kai." He murmurs and it comes out as a cross between a plea and a moan. Does he regret this then?

Rei brings one hand to my face, touching my skin as if it was made from spider's web. I'm surprised that his hand trembles slightly as the slender digits trace the outline of the dual triangles on my left cheek. I find the distance between us shrinking again, but this time the nothingness around us is pleasant, welcoming. Everything has ceased to exist except for this moment and the two of us. 

"Don't hate me." He whispers before leaning into my frame. 

For an instant, I forget everything. I panic; I want to struggle, to escape. This is so unfamiliar, so strange and new it frightens me. I'm strong enough to endure pain and torture and humiliation, I can handle defeat and misery and anything – the world, God. But this thing inside my chest, this sensation against my skin is too raw, instinctual and real and pleasant and terrifying. 

I don't notice when my eyes drift shut or when his hands move to clasp behind my head. All at once his lips are on mine, soft and trembling against my own. It was as if he is scared to touch me. We stay like that, lips pressed together, bodies locked by some sort of a bond. There is a fine, thread-like trail of fire running along my skin where his body meets mine. A little gasp escapes my throat when his tongue flicks out, lightly grazing my lips. Something pleasant and warm slithers along my back. Tentatively, I mimic Rei, earning a little gasp from him. 

And then things change pace. Everything is fast and slow at the same time. I can feel every graze of his lips, every touch from that sensuous tongue with clear precision, but at the same instant, it is fleeting and momentary and doesn't last for nearly as long as I want it to. It is gentle and teasing and new. I can feel him tremble as my hands find a sensitive spot on his nape; he gives me the same sensation when his tongue plunges into my mouth suddenly and wantonly. 

I feel the air rush out of my lungs only to be filled with his scent – he smelled of flowers, roses maybe, and work and strength and something so distinctly Rei. I don't need to breathe anymore, because he became my air. In this tiny universe surrounding the two of us, he is everything – the giver and the given, light and warmth, and strength and peace, sex, God. 

And then suddenly, as he draws back from me, everything settles back into its usual place; everything becomes dull in comparison. He is staring up at me, eyes hooded by long, black lashes; I can see their colour was molten gold blended in with fire and fervour. More strands of hair fall out of their bind, brushing against his forehead and lips. The cheeks and the bridge of his nose were tinted dusty rose. I touch the heated skin, wondering whether _I'd_ really done that to him. 

"Kai..." This was said throatily. I knew then that he was feeling the same tingly sensation in his chest – whatever it is called – and along his skin. I wanted to die. 

"Ooooh, can't you fe~el the lo~ve tonight?" An ear-splitting falsetto reaches my ears; I think it might be the Brainless Wonder. I can feel their eyes on the back of my neck like an annoying twitch. 

"Kai... I- I'm sorry," Rei whispers, stumbling on words, face darkening. He doesn't let me answer but dashes off, a long trail of hair behind him. I find myself unable to breathe again. 

Takao's still belting out the old tune, oblivious to how painful it sounds to the outside ear. 

"Takao, it broad daylight, not night" Kenny says, barely hiding amusement from his voice. 

Blondie giggles but the human vacuum continues to sing. 

There's another something swelling in my chest. This time it is deep and dark, almost like a void. It's difficult to make my lungs work. "Oh will you just shut up?!" I hear myself shouting at the idiotic trio though it sounds disjointed, outside of my body. The three promptly do as instructed, dashing inside the dojo to hide from my wrath. I barely notice them leave. 

My lips are still tingling. I have to fight down the urge to touch my swollen bottom lip. For a moment there, as we were suspended in time and space, I think I tasted bliss. 

* * * * * * * * 

I know he's awake even before I open my eyes. When I do, darkness envelops the room, a slither of moonlight filtering through the curtains. Sometimes I wonder whether there is some kind of metaphysical bond between him and me. His presence, his spirit is so close to my own, I can feel it wherever I am. 

I remove the sheets covering my body. I know he's been in my room, his scent still lingers on the curtains and beside my pillow. It reminds me of other things, of sensations and touches, of burning lips and caresses. I shake my head and get up, walking to the sliding glass door separating the room from the adjoined balcony. I know he'll be there. 

Noiselessly from long years of training I come to stand beside him leaning on the railing. I can feel how he jumps slightly at my approach; the heat of his body is dizzying. We look out to the city. A thousand or so tiny lights flicker on and off throughout the cityscape, the little specks of cars barely distinguishable from such distance. The light of the city blinds even the stars. It disgusts me, this loss of natural for the new and technologically advanced. But the moon, it alone remains unchanged, unmarred by human hands. 

We don't say anything, just looking out for minutes or hours. At one point he turns to me and watches me instead. His face seems paler in the moonlight, almost an eerie iridescent shade. His eyes look huge and dark, but not cold like that void – a warm and comfortable darkness. He nibbles on his lip as he has a tendency to and brushes a raven lock behind his ear. I think I've lost the ability of speech. I've never seen him like this before. 

"Kai?" He asks and it sounds like the voice of the wind when it blows through the trees during spring. 

"Hn?" 

"Am I dreaming?" 

I glance down – at his pristinely white nightshirt, at his bare feet, at the clutch he had on his rope of hair – anywhere but his face. "No, you're not dreaming," I reply just as quietly as he does. 

"How can you tell? I mean, I know what I'm seeing and hearing, I know what I feel and how. But... how can I be sure that this –" he spreads his arms wide"– is not just a dream? How can I be sure that what's happening right now is outside of my mind? How can I tell that I'm truly standing here with you like this, thinking and feeling these things, and truly hearing _you_ replying to me?" His voice has gained a passionate ambiance, the look in his eyes is wild. 

My throat tightens. 

"Can you prove it to me that this is real?" He asks me and it sounds like a plea and a demand at the same time. 

I bring my hand to his face, brushing the sensitive skin at the corner of his lips. The softness of his skin compared to my own calloused hands amazes me. I can feel him swallow and chew on the inside of his cheek. 

"Do you feel this?" I ask. 

"Hai." 

"How about this?" I lean in, my nose touching his. His warm breath fans my cheek; something inside me jumps. 

"H-hai," he replies his voice small and choking. 

"And this?" Tentatively I graze my lips against his, withdrawing after less than a second. 

"Hai, Kai, Hai," Rei says and then suddenly all the walls I've erected since this afternoon come down. 

Before I could fully realize it, my lips were crushing his, curious fingers digging into his silky hair. This kiss was different from before, hot and teasing and wild like that something inside my chest. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I had wondered how his lips – how_ he_ – would feel, taste? He tastes of sweetness and spice and pain and love and everything all at once. It was more than my senses could conceive. I plunged in and ravaged, he gave and took just as much. It was an intricate dance all its own, lips crushing against lips, tongues vying for dominance. 

I bite down on his lip (not hard enough to hurt) and feel him whimper. 

"Kai..." he moans into both our mouths. It rumbles like a purr deeply in his throat, reverberating off my teeth and down my spine. I have the impression of liquid fire dancing along my skin, travelling southward. 

I disentangle my lips from his, far enough so I could look into his eyes. They were heavy-lidded and I could tell that the pupils were dilated with need and want. His lips are parted and moist; I feel an odd sense of pride swell up inside me. I was able to do that to him, to make him moan my name with such abandon. 

"Sweet," I murmur before placing a trail of feathery kisses along his jaw line. 

"Nani?" He asks but it comes out disjoined and husky, as if he is as starved for air as I am for his touch. 

"You taste sweet," I reply against his skin and feel another wave of pleasure when he moans again. 

"You taste like fire and wilderness and hell and heaven," Rei replies against my nape where he decides to bombard with his kisses. 

"Was that..." I breathe out, "your first kiss?" 

"Iie..." he answers airily. "When I was nine or ten... there was a girl in my village that liked me... She cornered me one day behind the local food store and kissed me..." 

I feel my chest tighten. "Was... was it...?" 

"Better then this? No, nothing can compare to this." 

He doesn't stop his assault on my neck, his lips move downward, to the juncture of where my shoulder and neck meet and then over my collarbone. His hands are moving along my chest, skin sliding along bare skin. It is electrifying; I can't explain it, but there is just something-momentous building up inside me and I no longer feel terrified. It is... _Oh God!_ I groan into his hair as his cool fingertips brush against my skin, a teasing digit brushing my nipple, almost feather-like; his lips remain grazing on my against my collar. Heedlessly, my nightshirt slides off my shoulders to fall noiselessly onto the ground. 

I flick my tongue against the lobe of his ear and feel him suppress a shudder. Ever since I first met him, his ears fascinated me – the odd shape of them, the delicate curves of the lobes, the pointed ends. I suck on the tender flesh there, running my tongue along a crevice. He moans throatily, nibbling on my collar as punishment. I grin into his hair, inhaling his unique smell. It is as much a game of give than it is of take. 

"Do you still think this is a dream?" I breathe into his ear. 

He shudders and teasingly licks my skin. "Not unless you and I are sharing the same dream. And even if it was, then please, never wake me up."

It is almost like a joining of the same image split in two, or a dual reflection of the same entity. At the back of my head, a thought flickered that he completed me. There used to be a cavity in that world of mine, where nothing but the victory and I exited. Something in that equation did not add up, I now realize; the results always had a sort of painful barrenness, though I ignored it. I would wake and train and sleep and wake again and again. Everything was a repetitive cycle. Now that Rei's joined my world, that void, whatever it is... it's no longer there. 

He kisses my skin softly and I smile fully into his hair, hoping that he won't notice. I think this is how things are supposed to be. Another feathery kiss and I lose myself to the taste and sensation and _him_. 

* * * * * * * 

His presence is warm and comforting beside my own. Heat and fuzziness spread through my chest but I don't dare to wake him. 

The sunrays slither in through the breaks in the curtains, landing on the bed and his form. Rei glows almost. He scrunches his eyes against the sun's brightness and burrows his face into the crook of my shoulder, curling into my side. I brush a long strand out of his face (his hair came undone during the course of the night), allowing my fingers to graze along his skin for longer than necessary. 

I smile to myself and think, _'I would give you anything – everything, the world – if you ask it, but only when you won't hear it will I ever tell you so, only in the private of my own mind. Without your air in my lungs I feel transparent, like glass or rain or tears. That is what you do to me.'_

Once I've heard him say that love was the most wonderful sensation in the world. Is this love then, this warm feeling trapped inside my rib cage? I think it is. 

~*~Owari~*~

* * * * * * * * 

Ano... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make Kai sound so very poetic.... But hey, at least you peoples have your kiss, and if you tell me that wasn't enough, then I'd have to scream.... Oh, and sorry for going a bit overboard..... hehehe... though I don't suppose you mind much #^___^# And just so you know, they did NOT go beyond serious making out, no, not the whole way (I still imagine them innocent in my head). 

*Big sigh* I FINALLY finished with this!!! Ya! Ya! Ya! I'm so happy to get rid of this fic ^___^ Oh, and thankyouthnakyouthankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone who read this story and left such nice comments ^___^ 


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